Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Please allow me to tripp back, fer a sec...

Ya know, as one, ME, is writing in this , and I'm posing my skitz, I become so enveloped, that I MUST , go back and highlight some of the scenarios! SO- before I get into the saga of the marriage to Alan?!, I wish to shine a little light on my stay at "Muncy Stae Pen." I, have gotten away with EVERYTHING, to a point, in my life. UNTILL, that horrible , arrival at "Muncy!" I'll NOT forget it! As my hands were "cuffed," behind my back , whilst in the police car, upon our arrival, I looked up, and all I could see, was RAZOR WIRE, topping the entireity of the top of the fence! "Oh the fuck NO," was all I could utter, "THIS , I canNOT handle!"As they attempted to remove me from the cruiser, I grabbed onto the seatbelt, and WOULD NOT LET GO! Needless to say, they pried my hands , free, and placed me in "their," custody:(. I was then, put through tasks, I wouldn't wish on "Osama Bin Laden!" They explored every orafice I had, and some I didn't wish them to! Now, for over a year, I had been placed on Xanax, and Elavile, for my anxiety/depression. Truth be told, it was the only way for my hobbling ass , to get through a day!They did NOT, permit my cane for walking, either! So, they named me "GIMPY!" I , was then, placed in the medical unit, for observation, in a room, locked TIGHT with TWO , COLD, HARD doors, [AFTER,] THEY THREW SOME KIND OF POWDER ON ME, AND bLASTED ME WITH COLD WATER, out of a fire hose apascratice?! Well, I don't have to tell you, I NEEDED my Xanax, at that point! When they told me, "NO MORE XANAX!", I became hysterical! Alas, the doors OPENED:). only to find a three hundred lb. guard, resembling Nurse Ratchet, with a billy club . She whapped that door, and told me, "Another yelp, and we'll put you in R.H.U.,{restricted housing unit.] "Where you can scream your lungs out, and NOone will care!" Truth be told, I bit the pillow, and passed the fuck out! I spent four or so days in this horrible quarters, sweating my ass off, and cried like never before.[into the pillow!] When I was allowed to be placed in D.C.C., [diagnostic classification center,] we had windows,w/ mesh, and I got to meet the skunks. Late at night, the cutest skunks came to visit us criminals, so they could have food thrown for them:). The first meal, I was given , was Cat Fish:(. The darn thing was IN-TACT! Head and all, ....and I had been privy to MANY odd , different foods , in my life, BUT- this was way too wierd!!!!! Needless to say, I was hungry, YET, the head, stayed whole!The body of the fish, was kinda tastey! Since it was Summer, we were allowed to "Yard OUT," once a day. This was a fenced in area, complete with a volleyball net, and tables, where we could play "SPADES!" Only thang with Spades, is, they play for Green Sheets, one's paperwork to freedom! They were scarily serious about the game, and IF, one were to displease their partner, WELL! Now, I had played Spades for a long time, on the streets, but I required a QUICK upgrade! I earned it."When in Rome:)" There was ONE woman, I'll never forget. "Kim Morris!" As a matter of fact, when my Daddy , finally got to come and see me, he was CONVINCED," she was a he" She was burly and built like a brick shit house, with a grumbling , solid voice, to match! One day, at Yard OUT, we were playing Spades, and a Lady Bug, landed on my shirt. As I cupped her in ULTIMATE joy, because of my Hippiness and her tiny promise, Kim , reached accross and bapped my hand into Ms. LadyBug:(.  WITHOUT a THOUGHT, I sprang up, and yelled with severe fervor,"WHAT THE FUCK, DID SHE....she'sjustalittlebug...." At that point, I KNEW, I was going to DIE! To my amazement, Kim began to look QUITE  angry, and then began to laugh her ass off. The other , NEW women, feared FOR me, too. Kim announced, that I'd just, done WAY , TOO much ACID, and if ANYone bothers me, they;ll have to deal with HER! My friends, from that point on, prison life, simply got better, for my ice was broken! I, REALLY, hadn't done so much L.S.D>! I, believe, it was all the glue I USED to huff out of a paper lunch bag. BUT- As the days further, forward, I made more skunk friends, and convict ones, TOO! Lemme give you an example:):):):). At THAT time in my life, I sported my family , last name, spelled GERCHOV[CROSSED EYES.] iT, IS PRONOUNCED [ GER-SHAWVE,] ! wHEN, IN PRISON, AT THAT TIME, ONE MUST BE ADDRESSED, WHEN IT'S THEIR TURN TO SHOWER. One night, they called upon me, to take my turn.DEAR LORD,  all I heard, and SO did EVERYone else, was, "JERKOFF,' "get wet!" PLEASE, don't EVER say, it can't get any worse!The laughter exploded! And, enraged, freaky , lil me, screamed out the mesh portal, "GIMME A FUCKIN' BREAK, WHERE IS YOUR CREATIVITY?" who's name would EVER, be JERKOFF?" I was told where to go, and, I humbly took me shower! After that, was lock down, for the night. Lest, my little friends of the stinky kind, knowing full well, I'd have succulent tidbits of "Granola Bars with Chocolate chips," readied for them! My cellie, Cyndi, whom took the top bunk, due to my infirmaty, ALMOST fell OFF! As , I fed my friends, two skunks, went for the same chunk.[oh-no] As they posed confirmation for THAT chunk, they decided it was neccessary to pull out the BIG sprays!WELL--------that was all she wrote! The ENTIRE block of incarcerated D.C.C. women, went off, one by one! For GOD'S sake, light a cigarette! "DamnIT, Moonpuppy, knock it off!" The OTHER , humerous fact, was, that due to  my accident with the car, I had NO SENSE of smell!!!!!!!! Cyndi, couldn't stop laughing , and neither could I! At that point, a Guard, called "Ms. Oliver,"whom, came to the cell door, mandating , that I close the window, or ELSE![R.H.U.] "Gimpy, you're something else!" I feel, I'd definately made my mark, on the lot of us:).

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