Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I could NOT be , more Grateful...

Is everybody Dead? For the first time , in my life, I, am NOT!   I, was opened, yo, making an elloquent satement, that I wished to share. BUT- I am , just, too tired to continue!zI, do apologise, for the lead, that has NOwhere to go. I give you mt promise, to envelop ALL, at a near, later date. Peace Out...,Willow

Monday, October 30, 2006

It's Saint Hallows Eve...

Am I , a bit off? Indeed I am:)- THIS, is mischief night! Ya wish to know, what , I am being mischievious , about? "Celeb-fuckin-bration! Yes, peoples, my house looks as if a neuclear BOMB, went off in it! So, be it. My children, are wound up, tighter than eight day clocks. They, are joyous, happy, and FREE! Far be it for me to brag, but they think I'm The Bomb, and they are delighted by this inescapeable fact. I, have , finally, found a ground, in which to PLANT us, and even though, we're NOT purrrrfect, we ARE happy, and striving for rainbows, that have NO ends!

         I, was informed, yesterday, that, as we gathered round pumpkins, in which to illustrate them, LAST year, it was NOT permitted, and I was NOT here, in which to enforce such fun.

           I asked, "what DID Ya'll do?" The response, was , Daddy said we had NO need for Jack-o-lanterns, and took us to bars, for Saint Hallows Eve??!  I gasped, SILENTLY, with shame and pains. However, finding surmounting Strengths, in what all I am striving for , todays! Ashley, assisted, BIG time, in orchestrating, the baggies, which hold the treats for the "Halloweeners," which are , quite welcomed, to come visit...AFTER, we make our own run:)-{ NO bars, included.} I asked, "what did Ya'll git at the bars?" "We got $$$$$." was Ashleys' reply. "So, where did you spend they $$$??', I asked. "Daddy took it." he said we were NOT allowed to have drink or treats. ..."But, he drank, as we were there?!""Put at a table.""

          The cool part of this, is,I have returned , with a heart and soul,....and a creative soul, that INCLIDES , their friends, as well as my, aches, pains AND loving attentions-           I was told, earlier , this evening, that I'd be taken to court.      "Bring it ON, assholian!" People, he's , simply peeved to the gills, that I have ACTUA-found a REAL spine, and don't require his penis to hang onto, ANYlonger! HOW, can a person, claim to be a MAN, that is so profoundly , hideously , affraid, of his OWN presence? THE more, that I conquer, theMORE he shrivels! NOT- my problem. WHERE, WAS, his protruding embolism, when it ranked THE, most  required?

        Pardon my cantor, but, I've had ENOUGH- of some piss ant, trying to rail me! IF, he thinks, what I do my best at doing, doesn't hurt...he can suck my socks! I, pesonally, don't give a rats whisker, HOW mant tubes of wire he construdes. He, continues , to walk away from anything his /MY, Babes require, as well as to place TOO much of his earnings, in calling sexual phonelines, providing all at the bars , NEVER attending , two Precious children, with, perhaps, a shoulder to cry on/a visit to the Doc/Dentist/ a sound mind, to help guide them, when they come -crashing into a situation that poses a threat to their sound way of sight????????!!!!!!!

             "I," am supposed to be the imbosilic creature , that is THE failure? All, I seem to be told/shown, that - I'm the one, whom should be wearing a superhero Cape???? { It;s giving me acne.} I'm just a human! A, tired one at that. The , fucking weird thing about it , is, I'm actually, holding SOMETHING up, to boot?!

              I, kinda-sorta-feel, he forgot ONE , important  fact. I have , one or two, BODACEOUS, spirits, on my side, that will flatten him, in a heart beat. AND- guess what?? Not, all of 'em, are passed On!!!!!He, THINKS , he knows me. He, knows , NOTHING! People, I have graduated. I was, a simplistic burgermeister, for TOO long! FINALLY, I have come , upon, a regimine, of REALIZATION, that, there ARE some things, that, CAN, be changed! I, have been, awarded, A CHANCE! I, decided , to TAKE it."Sometimes, it's easy, to be myself.""Sometimes, it's BETTER, to be , somebody, else."Dave Mathews"

              I, KNOW, there are some SERIOUSLY Important Peoples, whom are reading this! I'm , probably, scaring the shit outta them. "If I'm not being too subtle, PLOP!" THIS, is MY release.I, haven't the funds, NOR the time, to go and visit, these, SO-CALLED, PROfessionals!      So- - I'm , simply. going to let it ALL the fuck out.

            THIS, new Job , of mine, is a fucking tripp! I, am strewn in with a multitude of charismatics. So, I am to, KEEP me head above water. SOOOoooooo, I do. There is , NOT, a one of 'em, whom can even PEG me!!!!!!!!!!! I, am SO , sometimes, silent. SOMEtimes, quirkey.SOMEtimes, OUT of me frickin' mind. They, have, so as I see/hear, that "I am a cracker." i fit in fine....."That's, CHEESE, has slipped OFF, from."WHY? Cuz , I'm ME?    "Waiter, check, PLEASE!"            THAT one , gits a giggle, each time.   WHY, is it, that , we're ALL trying to find, SOME place to , FIT- into????????!!!!!!      I, was Frightened, as to become a WORKER, in an"entourage,"... in a realm of MANY, whom were so Young?! Shall, I have asked..."Crash, into me?"           Allow me to be MORE poignient. There, were , MORE R-E-D-D eyed mothers, with, insatiable munchies, that I could shake a stick at!-TODAY! I, called 'em on it, with TOTAL disreguard. I, was able to obtain, REAL-replies! "YEP!""WE...are slammed!"                "O.K.- whatever." They were SO proud?! I, was disgusted...................WHO knew??!!- - - - -"I" DID!"  How,....was I supposed to find a solemn find, when, ALL I had to work with, were blasted? YO!, Far be it for ME , to DISreguard  attempt, BUT- FUCK- - - WHAT "AM," I fighting 4?"MY," possition, lies , beneath THEM?! AND, THEN, this pisher -shit, wishes to challange me?        SO- Ya see, where I am coming from? The ONE dude, was on Exstacy!EVERYTHING, looked GREAT, to him.{NO doubt, ONE of The Burgers, gave him devistational JOYS!}

         I, am NO prodigy!I, am NOT even , an encomforence of intellect. However- - - - I, WAS, trying to grow, further.

             Stormigail, this shit, IS a , fucking tripp! GOOD thing, I have Reindeer Antlers, to back  my ass UP! Peace Out... BESIDES- these whisker THANGS, that are protruding from my chin...REALLY need to give it a rest!In the sunlight, they , become, BLINDING! They're pissing me OFF!

Friday, October 27, 2006

I, quite rightly, have NO idea!

Good Evening, ALL- I , have so much to spill, it's NOT, remotely humerous! Im not even sure where the fuck to begin!!!!! For REAL, fer real, I haven't the foggiest right to complain!  However, I have located a whole bunch of indescrescions, I happen to own!  TOO, many , find themselves, prominent/succulent/ ETC,! This, is the worst bunch of hoggwash, I have ever seen!!!! We, THINK, we got it going on! We, ARE a bunch of imbosilic morons, We have , fucking NOTHING! I, rightly don't care how big me boopies ARE! I , don't give a plop, how much $$$$$ ANYone has! It, comes from a different place.I, am finding, it comes from the core of especiallity! Why! When! and, WHY?!, {perhaps, how we feel, when we do it.}

        I ran accross this BEAUTIFUL man, playing pool, this evening. HE- IS adoringly , betrothed to HIS woman, and posed NO disgust, toward me! On the contarary, he , reminded me, of , what IS, more important! Proper ettiquette. A, sound form of presentation, that canNOT, be altered, by anyone!"If one , doesn't stand for SOMEthing, one , MUST FALL, for anything."

                This evening, I orchestrated, a -TWO trays- of Rice krispy Treats, for anyone , whom visits our homestead for THE Halloween time! I got a bit, grandiose, for i SECURED THE ARTS OF FOOD COLOURING, AS WELL......so, as, to eminate the Goblin Headquarters. I, also, included, some odd additives, to secure , their weirdness! It looks, fucking gross! However, it tastes GREAT! They ARE, Goblin Brownies. The chasers, ARE, Googlie -Gooey eye balls!

             It amazes me, how we Humanoids, SO, get OFF, on the structures of Death related scrogg! It, seems, to ignight us. Purrrrrrhaps, it is because......we , would , ALL , like the pain to stop. OR- perhaps, we MISS, all those , whom have been blessed to move ON, afore US!................I , feel the scallops, will be a big HIT, once observed. TOTALLY Gore! WAIT, untill Ya see what I do with the pasghettie!

             With ALL, due respect. I, also wish, to be able tocapture this Gala, on photos! LORD, Please, provide us with film. Thank you....

               If you would permit me,I'd like to close this, fer a sec, with a statement, that stems from my soul. I'm a fucking whack job! However, I'm NOT unwell, and I'm , actually, harmless...............THESE days! I was a pisser, for a whole lot of years. I, was a definate jerk! Addicted to TOO, mant drugs, that, at the time, couldn't EVEN fathom, stemming away from! Lemme see Ya give it a shot, to Attempt , to coerce me into joining Yer drug , enduced realm, I'll fucking Walk Away! I, do NOT give a skrew, if they are . THIS one IS gone!!!!! Oh!, no way, Yer gittin me back, either. Wanna know WHY? Allow me to be MORE specific! Ya'll, steal the HEART of TOO, MANY, whom have a sincere knack, for bringing GAMES. PLEASURES, and-JOYS, to lives, whom wish to progress! I, don'y give a pluck. about Yer agency!! As, you,WATCH us, going DOWN.... you ONLY- reach out for more. WHAT- our life, isn't enough, to for yer income????? Me, pesonally., I wish, Ya'd just flush Yerself!- - cuz, Yer NOT going to succumb me, ANY longer,! Perhaps, this is WHY you can't stand me. HATE ON, assholians, ya lost this ONE!-Anna, I amSOOOOOOoooo tired.Bless ya- Willow-xoxoxoxo


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Hope and dignity

You'll have to exzcuse me, if my dialect, is a bit off. It's been TOO long, since I've had the ability to write.

        Still, as usual, I have something to say. Perhaps, I should cast it as vent.My world, has taken an ENTIRE , new dimension. My Daddy , passed on. I was blessed , with a new job, that IS kicking me butt, and I have a friend , or 2, whom are plagued with a bunch of life.

         For REAL, fer real, I should have my ass in bed, ASLEEP! BUT- I require a sense of release. SO- I'm taking it.

          I beg your forgiveness, if I sound a weird, but, I AM exhausted, and that's just the way it IS!

           Peoples, I faultered. I met up with this stallion of a man, MANY years younger than me....whom thought I was DElightfull, and I succumbed to his attentions. He , sparkled my daughters hearts, and had me fooled, like NObodies buisness,...then, ran BACK, to an addiction, I couldn't have called if me life depended on it.

            I guess, when one is so alone, one may fall 4 more than usual, and , well, he is , now, REincarcerated??!!!! Being a prior incarcerated , myself, I , JUST ,can't figure! I'd have grabbed onto camel balls, to stay afloat, and , away.......but, addiction , for some, goes deeper than what REALLY makes one tick/smile????! I, THANK Our LORD, I have taken the hint, and have told the MONSTER to go to H-E-double toothpicks! However, I shall KEEP him in me prayers, for the duration of my existance.

         This NEW job of mine... IS a scream! Let alone, it's kicking me physical butt! I do NOT remember, any job, that I have had, that prompts me to REALLY laugh, so much??!! Burger King, Ya gotta be odd, to put up with these peoples! The CO-workers, are a tripp!Once, Ya git yer nitch in there, ...one can actually BREATHE. However, there is this one dude, whom is the HEIRARCHY of the whole scenario??. Truth BE told, he desperately, NEEDS a "sound" ENIMA! GOD forbid, anyone crashes and burns, for he'd be ascared to wrinkle his underpants! Talk about a ridgid , control FREAK- - - - - - PLEASE, someONE give him a GOOD fuck!At least, slap the pee outta him! This crap stain, gives ALL he comes in contact with, a hemmeriod!

              THIS, is NOT for you, today. THIS, release, is for ME! I'm NOT trying to curb my tongue, NOR am I attempting to kiss Yer ass! I'm sending out an S.O.S.- and I can do THIS, 4 it's "MY" book:)- IF, more peoples, were so free, with jotting down what the fuck , they FELT, purrrrrhaps, TOO many drugs, would NOT be suggested! - - - - - - - - -                or needed.

           i HAVE A BELOVED , TWO FAMILY MEMBERS, left- - - - and they are two of THE coolest Women I know. The first one, put up with me,... when NOone , else could figure out how to! ...SHE, is betrothed to another BEAUTIFUL Woman, riddled with cancer, and , at this moment, IN-remission:):):):):):)- She has been graced with a phenominal chance, as to continue.          THEY, are, at this moment, frolicking in , some charismatic scene, TOGETHER, and, finding UNending JOY, in doing so!           - - - - -o.k., back to moi', I have a man, whom I am still enamored by. His name is Elton, and he IS the Daddy of my beloved son. He is struggling for a life, AFTER- - - - I paralized our Son. A , whole lot to swallow! I, was a lot older than him, and he quite , could NOT handle , what all I threw at him. Shit, I'm , still trying to figure it all out! However, he's trying to format, as hard as I am........and we WILL REjoin, once again! I'm trippin on it, though, for I'm freaked out, that I am trying to REbuild something that I SO destroyed! AM, I chasing a remedy? Am , I chasing a fleeting glimps, of , what COULD have been? AM, I chasing , everything??????????? Do, you see , where I am coming from? Being , where I am/was.....I am tender to the aches of someone else......but- I have the fucking fear, that I'm setting myself UP, for another blunder?!

              My DEAR friend, Anna Young, says, I am streatching for someone to hold me, AND, I SHOULD reach forJESUS!!!!!@!Others can , actually , TOUCH HIM! So can I, but it's NOT in the same way???!I , CAN, feel JESUS! However, I cannot, seem to wrap my arms/legs/ BODY- around a spirit,me HEART IS there! ALL of the time?!! I'm such a jerk, for I REACH out to Our LORD, and embrace! Perhaps, THAT is why I am making the progress, that I AM! Still, I have a hard time, responding to NO-"ONE "holding me back, that I can ACTUALLY grasp onto. OH- well- that sounded imbosilic! JESUS, holds US alway/anywhere! BUT- dagnibbit, I require a sound flesh , to encompase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, at least , I wish to!

          I'm NOT fucking Wonder Woman! I'm a flippin "HUMAN "BEING! And, THAT, is just reality! I, guarantee, I'm GOING to crash and burn, once again! IF, not twice! But, skrew Ya'll, I'm trying ME BEST! And, none can ask, any more , of me!!!!!!!!!! I'll let Ya's know somrthing, RIGHT now! "I'm", me WORST enemy! THINK, Ya can put me down, ANY further than I can, myself- - - - - THINK again! I, connect ALL my dots!onWednsdaysat 3:15!

           ENOUGH said! if I continue, I'm just going to git unneccessarily nasty.  Besides, I'm sick of yelling at people, it's JUST NOT their shit - - -  -it's MINE! However, the NEXT biotch that tries to ream me........I swear, I'll fucking "breathe"- - - - suggest where to go! IF, Y a  argue......I'll toss ya there! Nope, I won't!!!!!!!!!!!! But- - - -  -I'll wish 2:)- Ball's in YOUR court!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Ohmygoodness, Im somewhat back....

Am I going to lie to you? Nope! As the script arrises from whatever , Im NOT sure, for, I dig it, but I did NOT purpously execute it?!  As to the sonds of, "Im not going to fib to you...I'm NOT! This is the first time, my punctuation has workrd in an age!!!!!! I'm a bit obsessive, about the way I compose. Last time, I attempted to git into this realm, mw punctuation was erradict!

        Guess, this is NOT the case, today! 'Tis been QUITE some time, since I've rubbed you. During the absence of me...I have lost me Daddy, gained a job, and have the insatiable tallent, of finding out, that, life and a whole bunch in it, are quirks!

     I , HAVE decided, that, this is MY journal! AND- if I wish to unleash, plop on anyone , whom wishes to depleat my effort. This, is NOT about you............however, if one can benefit from it, WAY cool. As I compose this, from a LONG time ago... The Beatles..serenade my edition. Some of you, whom chose to read it... wouldn't give a flying figneuton. That, is just , fine.  I, happen to know of ONE, or 2, whom enjoy , finding that I still got it , goin on:0

            Yep, I'm a pistole.I, am relesing, FINALLY! So, skrew, if Ya going to git an attitude from it. On Sept. 20th, 2006, I FINALLY, was what me Daddy needed, my hand to his ticket HOME, with GOD. I, had prayed for that, me whole life! I, had wished , to give him something special, without COST/tag! I , had promised him a Jaguar,{his flavorite car.} as soon as I won the Lottery??! Go figure. However, I was BLESSED, to be the other hand he held as he passed on with. Stupid human that I am. Truth be told, he, actually DID care a WHOLE lot about me, and waited until I arrived:)  Ya know, he WAS in excrushiating discomfort, YET- would NOT let go, for he KNEW, I'd be mortified, if I had not been there for him, when he REALLY needed me. He, was ALWAYS, there for me! Most, of the times, he didn't know how to be. But, THAT, is NOT the point!               LORD, this feels great, no matter that I am weaping, ONLY, YOU, Jesus, knows how desperately, I NEEDED to git this shit OUT! As, soon as I have secured an actual job, despite my infimaties, and keep ON, keepin' on, you bless me with the ability, to voice my feelings, once again?!

                      So be it, that, for real, 4 real, I NEED to lay the body down! I am destined , with this prize, to , actually write my feelings, with proper punctuation. Fact of the matter, IS, I NEED to hope, that I WILL have this blessing, tomorrow, for I have a resposibility, to my girls/myself....that includes , work!  This , mandates initiative/responsible sleep! Therefore, I MUST, accept, what needs to be done, for it isn't ALL about what I need!  At least, I obtained a secure release, that provided me with an outlet, fer a sec! May it BE The Lords will, that I may continue, at a later date. IF, anyone is reading this, welcome to my  nightmare, that was postponed. NOT, anyones fault, 'cept 4 mine.