Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Hey Now...

HELLO, Everyone. HELLO, ME! Sometimes, life throws Ya side-winder shots, one, LEAST expects!

         I thought I killed him, again. It would apper, I didn'T. After a month of mental/soulfull tarnish, Elton called! It would apper, he shall join me for coffiee, tomorrow morning. WHOA!-

                 I was prepared, to lay into him, like NObodies buisness!  BUT- I didn't. I GUESS, I am learning, to, just, shut UP! I Thought, I had handed him THE loaded gun. He SAYS, I didn't. Purrrrrhaps, I did NOT, for , he's still a free man. "IF," I did, he's a WHOLE , lot swifter than I! YET- he chose to touch base with me, again, and , "IF," I did, I am praying' , that , because I gave him the money , with and in love, it , just MIGHT, have urged him to capture, what it is like to be LOVED, and, yet, Another realm of wishing to stay away from the devils crap! Sometimes, hard as it IS- it takes another to back Ya UP! { NOPE,} I am , SO NOT, trying to take presidence in , some sort of miraculous assist!  ALL I can say, is , THAT, he is still OUT, and , he called me for coffiee!

             Thanks BE, to GOD!

Friday, April 20, 2007

You , tell me...

 Lightbulb IdeaMy life, cascades onward.       I fricken did it! I, faced , ONE of my biggie fears, and tackled the mother!

          When I was in my Daddys' care, I had teeth pulled. Since, he HAD , substantial INSURANCE, I was gifted, to be able, to be put to rest/sleep, as the proceedure was done.  THEN- I awoke, with a buch of shit in my mouth, and  , a serene pause of recouperation. HOWEVER, with my Bodaceous Ins., THESE days, I have faced me fear- and had 'em ALL/Top ones, yanked out, and I handled it! Tornado  "WHO KNEW?"

                 I have noticed something. Since I gave into this proceedure, and am dealing , quite well with it...I am connected with , what's REALLY , ones TRUE Beauty! It's on the INSIDE! SKREW da teeth. Some kind friends, have told me, they can't , Even notice. Perhaps, that is because, what is REALLY, "me," shines from within?!! Bravo        SUMMER, is approaching. AGAIN- my family, has been BLESSED! Since I have been making, continuous progress, {or so they feel }, we are being given, a GRANT, so that my Daughters, may attend , Camp, for the , entire Summer. THIS, will provide them, with a sound, structured Summer, and , another, that they may look back, upon, with pride and joy. Not , TOO bad, for a short, white woman with small breasts. Flower .

                 At the moment, they , are "Snug - a Bug, " sleeping with , TWO Angels, and Cool Dreams." SO- I took the opportunity, to orchestrate some feelings, that chose to take a Siesta, in my mind. A-L-L, of the laundry, is DONE. The house, is DElightfully straightened, and, I even squashed the dish-duty!

             During the BETTER durations of weather, in the , past, few days...I, even paid loving attentions, to the outter grounds. I, am NOT ashamed to say, that, I didn't do 1/2 badly! Even the aminals dig it!! { didthatonpurpouse } We, have a bunch of Babies with furr/feathers, that seem to adore to hang out, I feed 'em, and, at times, simply sit in the yard, and talk with 'em, best I can. It WORKS, for  speak from and WITH , my heart. Due to the promised weather, for the UP-coming weekend...I, shall be in Nirvana! I, L-O-V-E, putzing around the yard!! YET- ANOTHER BLESSING...

                 YET- *I took a time to call my husband:(. It would appear, I caught him, taking some kind of walk. We spoke!  He has told me,that, I should WATCH for paperwork, in the mail. " Could you be a BIT, more, specific?"  I asked. "I'm divorcing you, for financial purpouses," is what he said. "WAY cool." I replied. I think I peeved him off. "I've got , THIS, going  on," "and THAT!" Rest assured, it's ALL, MY fault, Again?! "Well, IF- there is anything we ca do to help, let us Know."W-E-L-L, "THAT," just IRKED him, further. SOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo, he hung up on me.

           It's getting , Late. I, am Quite tired, and , IF, I am to make ANY sense , at ALL- I should , MOST likely, try again, at a later date. However- I , AGAIN, Thank you, for providing me with the OUT-let pages, that calmed, the , savage beast in me:). Love Letter  Blow Kiss PEACE OUT-

Monday, April 16, 2007

I, would suppose...

I'm a bit UNsettled, this evening. Tomorrow, I get to have the rest of my , UPPER teeth, removed.  {Now, Don't git me warped- - BUT... } The rest, of my physical sagas', are weighing on me , TOO! I tell Yas' , WHAT, though...this weekend, I threw down like , I could NEVER have done , a , few years ago.

              TornadoFor the MOST part, I have been a fiendish PLOP! I, have made , a RESOUND practice, of escaping EVERYTHING, substantial, for , it gave me a head ache.  I'm not, COMPLETELY sure, but, "Paul Simon, said it well! "  He, sang, "Grace Land." 

           NOW- I'm not much. BUT- I, just spent an entire weekend, with my girls, and their friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that , can eat MORE than I could, in a week. They, insist, on being  ENTERTAINED, at ALL volumes of , EVERY moment!! S-H-I-T- I, thoght I was an ENTERTAINMENT junkie Crazy  Guess, I've been FLAGGED! Marilyn, N-E-V-E-R, wished to hold a GALA, UNless, the digs were ?proper.?   PERSONALLY, I couldn't figure , it. IF- Yer havin' fun, who the fuck CARES, what the bathroom tissue looks like??????????

           YEP- I'm goin' through a bit of , medical issues! B-U-T, I'll be darned, to CARE, what the lable in my underwear , say! AS, LONG, AS , They're CLEAN?!

          Purrrrrrrhaps, my observation, of LIFE- is a bit, OFF Centered. However, DUE TO MY OWN, observations, there are MANY, MORE , NIFTY altercations, that , MEAN, a Whole, Lot more, than the darn tag!

         I have , had a profuse NEED, to walk around with Grace and Style. It, "IS," an Inner, thing! Tomorrow, fucks me UP, enormousely. THERE IT IS- , "I," am a hypocrite.

           Ya KNOW- it's NOT, due to the missing teeth! BALDERDASH- it's the fact, THAT, I won't be able to , STOP- the spit, that IS, going to fly at , unwarned persons, , just 'cause, I wish to SAY, something!                Shall I take the Dentist, Prisoner?? NOPE!

           Ya know, it's , somewhat, difficult, to RAISE, TWO Children, when , MOMMIE, has no fucking teeth! Bugger-

            There have been... these companions, in my life, THAT- I wished to , Throw my Arms around, and share the S-T-R-E-N-G-T-H with! I'm, in ALL actuality, TOO, FUCKING  short, to do it ALONE. My boobies, aren't even HUGE! My A-S-S, is, though. I, keep placing, all these HOPES/DREAMS, in the hands of jack-offs???????????? THEN- - - - - - - I get peeved, and , drop 'em on their heads.

           WHAT A BRAT!

               THE FUNKY THING about it, IS, I'm, actually, quite a profound entity! SO- WHY, do I Keep putting up with such bologna?!! Ya know, I, Really, have NO RIGHT, to Blast Marilyn. The FACT , IS- I continue to recall her, as I listen/observe!  I, also, convey HER begining, as to WHY, I, EVEN think / consider , her. I'm, PRETTY SURE, she, STILL, could give a perp!          "Life Is A Carnival."

           The Parental Units- WERE, SO CONSTRUDE, on their PRIDE, of "How Much It Cost!/How Many Credit Cards, they had / AND, there WAS, that fucking LABLE?" FACT, of the MATTER, "IS," there is SOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo much MORE!"

            "IF," THERE ARE, Others, whom can , find, BETTER things, to be concerned , WITH? I, "Bow," to you! I'm , somewhat, coming , BACK, from the trauma, that I was bequethed with. I, "CAN," Tell you THIS!       "IF," you REALLY WISH, for ANYthing, to come out , best  Ya can-     { Hugs/Love /Sincerity, is something, MasterCard, can NOT Buy! } Ya wish to do, somrthing worthWhile?, "Git-R-Done- and , get back to BASICS! }""""""""

             "The Hurdy-Gurdy Man, came singing songs of , L-O-V-E! "


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Just something I thought of, on the way out.

LIFE, is a profound set of arrays!

            ALL- of mine, I challenged it!! I, walked about, on EVERY aspect , I could git me feet on! I really meant no harm. I, was just an angry , young ,BRAT!In "MY," opinion, I earned the right.

             Now a days, I have found, there IS, SO,Much more! However- yet I have Yearned for the BEAUTY of it , ALL, I am dieing.I can't POOP , properly, and I throw up blood, every chance available?!  They have "Depends," for those , whom can't hold their bladders. I, require them to HIDE the BLOOD, that seeps from my boodie-butt.

          THE thing, THAT , REALLY pisses me OFF- IS, I have construde a household, that, fucking ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, have finally, constructed a place, where, people wish to visit! TornadoBUT- now, it appears, I, have to leave it??.THIS BOOK, is all I have left."IF," it helps , ANYONE- then , I am vindicated. The pictures, on the walls, the essence I plagued the neighborhood with, I don't think will be forgotten, FOR THE PROPER REASONS. I, finally did something RIGHT! UNfortunately, a bit too late. THIS , does NOT have to be YOU!

YOU- can enduce this , precious existance, afore you get sick!!!!!!!!!!!!Whatever. Dragon WE- are NOT alone! There are so many others, that adore you. THE trick, "IS," Ya GOTTA adore yourself! If  Ya don't- - - Yer a twerk! There IS a circle of LIFE! CowgirlAND, if you DON'T CHERISH    it, Yer a fool! I, am NOT trying to lecture you! It's just something I HAVE learned.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Spring Cleaning/Planting:)-

 I'm GassyTee-Hee-Hee       Someone, get me A ladder. Well, peoples, I have been going hogg- wild, in the Spring cleaning thingy! THE, hardest part, is, that I have included my soul, as well! I tell Yas', I wouldn't wish the cleaning of my mind, on ANYone!!!!!!! It took me, a LOT of courage, to even take the stairs.

              I chose to MAKE time, today, to provide myself, a slot , to where, I could touch my precious pages, WITHOUT, ignoring my septic duties of house/chores/responsibilities.  Toilet Reading Cowgirl:)-

         Sheet, don't Ya just wish Ya could do this , in an actual BOOK?!!  Wait untill Ya see this! Dragon never mind, it will NOT allow me to put audio to me book:( NO biggie!

            I had to exhale, fer a sec. Friends, I , did the walls/closets/ pictures/ETC! I've, even begun, landscaping. During and For , The Easter Service, I kept a bit of funds , to purchase Hyacynth, for names/ and L-O-V-E, of those , whom I will, Always Adore!  Yet, it's, Still, TOO frosty, in which to plant them, so that they may become perrenials. {perennials, are flower Bulbs, which produce themselves, each, and Every Spring! } I felt, they would be a MUCH, better comendation to the souls, in whom they were founded for, than , some stupid, INconsequential other, that I could provide! "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." We, ALL sprang from the dirt. So- allow me to let their spirits continue. I, included, Gail, Charles, Anthony,Jarrod,Nonny/Poppy,and the Still here entities, that chose to wrap their arms arond me, for , WHY, that's their Thang.

             I had THE, most DElightful revelation happen, yesterday. My beautiful daughters, arrived home with their Report cards. They have gone, from, horrible, to OUTSTANDING! I, am SOOOOooooooooooooo proud of them! The WEIRD thing, is, "I HELPED!" whoknew?-

            Last night, tired as ALL get out, I rose from bed, to go out and make sure, I  took Note and RE-checked their loggings.            "The Black Crowes," are on, with, "Remedy!" The band , always Rocked me.

           O.K., I'm back- at least, part of the time. Belly Laugh NOPE- I NEVER said I was normal! I NEED a remedy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEP!- I'm one fucked up , individual! So sue me. Perhaps, it's cabin fever?!

                 Perhaps you recall, I mentioned , Elton. STILL, haven't heard a word.BUT- I got an UPDATE, from the county jail! Some whench, in there, says, she sold E.J., 12  sandwiches, {bags} two weeks ago. ALLEDGEDLY-    THIS, IS, when I gave him monies for clothes/gas?! HEROINE! How, in GODS' Name, can ANYone, get OFF on that shit????????? I, tried it.  Yer genitals itch, like a bugger, and Ya can't finish a sentence, afor NODDING OFF, in MID_STREAM! YES!- I still feel , Partially responsible.  But I'll be dag-nibbitted, if I'm going allow it to flatten me on the couch, again! I gave him a tender chance. ONE, of trust and sound beliefe'! NOT my bad!

            Friends- LIFE, ain;t no continuing picnic. Sumtimes, it gets bumpy!!!!!!!!! Big, Fargon Deal! Get Over It!  Years ago, I could NOT. However, NOTHING, GOOD, comes EASY! As many songs , that are on the radio, stating , this, that and the other...."Fleetwood Mac," STATES- "But, I am giving this one a try!" "It WILL be different, and Ya know it WILL!" "I don't have to tell ya,But, Yer the ONLY one!"

                  ANY, confounded human, can THROW UP THEIR ARMS, and , say UNCLE! TRUST me, I was one of the BEST! Then- I looked in the mirror, and couldn't STAND, the reflection!!!!!!!!! If I was going to be able to brush me teeth, I HAD, to do something a bit different , and , go in a different direction. "EASY?"- fucking , "NO!" There are mornings, that I FEAR, even getting outta bed! THE, COOL thing, IS, when I do, and I stay standing, i think me boobies grow. Embarrassed ! I , may not do ALL things , RIGHT! B-U-T, I'm making progress.

           Lemme put it to you, THIS way. I was a confounded druggie/alkie! I, had a Sound realm, of thinkin' , "I had it goin' ON! " and I used , EVERY chance I could muster. AT THE TIME- "NO," one , could have convinced me, I could go without! Yet, { o.k., I still drink beer in my home on the weekends } but, not a drug, has taken me prisoner, since I said , FUCK THAT! Love Song    


Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Just a Blog-

An Automic Bomb! YES, the fuck I am!

     I, am at a LOSS of reality. I am QUITE aware of my efforts. THEY, are , pretty , darn good!! However, they have NO realm of allowing me to understand , LIFE! As soon as I THINK- I am getting , SOMEwhere, I become confounded, AGAIN??!!

              I have so many beautitudes, and, yet, I fall shorter than I actually am, AGAIN?? Now, I realise, life, ain't no ON-going picnic!! Yet, these drop ins, of mezmirizing shit, REALLY needs to stop! Here I am, trying to do me BEST- then, ANOTHER bomb drops?!!

              My friend, Anna, says, that , I am suppose to focus on the LORD, for EVERYTHING. I , believe I am doing that.  The next thing , I get a squirt of, IS, I skrewed everything up??.  What the "BLEEP," do I do next?

                  I have paid wonderous attention, to my girls, my yard, my friends, WHOM, seems to be all I have left. ALLOW me to be, MORE specific. ELTON, my sons' Daddy, has been IN and OUT of prison, due to his addiction to heroine! I, TRIED, to be a "NO STRINGS ATTACHED , Friend, and handed him some money. THAT- was the LAST time I heard/seen of him:(.

             I, was ONLY , trying to HELP, as he got , back on his feet! NEVER, did I , ONCE, think I was handing him, a "STILL", Smoking gun. Yeah- coulda/woulda, I, simply , placed TOO much emphasis on his mind, being where mine , TIS! Ya'll, KNOW- I did the drugs of life!! IT, is ONLY, by the Grace of GOD/Loved Ones, I have NOT fallen, into the realm of DEALING with lifes; stuff, in order to escape, the drug enduced way, THAT is.

                 NOW, HERE- is my rant!!              I, find the WHOLE, Judicial System, to be, A fucking BAD JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here, you have a Decent person, JUST, getting outta prison...and , with NO funds/family/Actual , caring support, and ya THROW the person to the WOLVES?!! SKREW jamming foolish , meetings/groups, down the persons throat!! Where did ONE, on ONE, escape to?. The DISgusting part of it, as I seem to be able to observe, IS- it's ALL about the fucking money! EACH, and EVERY person, whom is incarcerated, brings IN, approximately, 1.000.00 dollars, per DAY!

              Awe, I FEEL Yas, she doesn't know Jack Shit! BALDERDASH- I've BEEN there, and back! I, only DYE me hair- THIS, IS, The truth!  I, have observed, TOO, many, get CAUGHT, IN, the revolving door!!!!!!!! "Hey Bay, Ya miss me?" NOT THAT FUCKING MUCH!" Stay the BLEEP, Home!

            However, Too, many, don't know how to! They, have become, what is called, "Institutionalised! It, GETS to the point, where the individual, knows NO, Other way, but to be clothed/fed/housed/excercised! IF- you release a soul, of THAT sort, into the population of , ACTUAL Life, what the fuck, do expect?? You, don't give a fuck!!!!!!!! SO- why should the inmate?

                  Once in a while, PLEASE- give a person, a CHANCE! STAND, next to them.

OH!- I'm sorry, you don't git PAID, for that! I'd , ADORE, to witness, "IF," the shoe, was ON, the other foot. Hear me NOW- I'd give you, a chance, I'd hold your hand/give you food/STAND- next to you!

                I- do NOT, have Much. Yet, I have compassion, I, Have knowledge, I- Have experience...,I, HAVE Built a SOUND Tiny, Castle!!!!!!! Ya , WISH, to do something, of Grand Stature, use your heart! I don't give a fig-Neuton, how many CREDIT cards, you are PERMITTED to carry!!!!!!!! YET- I WILL, continue to HOPE, you , WILL, UNDERSTAND, what I AM, attempting to convey to you. For REAL/ fer real, it's YOU, that HAS to observe your reflection in your OWN mirror.I ,DO NOT, wish to observe HOW- you'd allow it , to effect Ya! Shit- I don't even pay for BAD, movies, WHY- the fuck, should I PAY, to watch you, DESTROY, another, for your bank account??!!!

Sunday, April 1, 2007

"She comes in coloures, EVERYWHERE!"

I , Used to THINK, I had it goin' ON! Point being, I was to intreverted, to explore, anythin, BUT!

         As you will , please, recall, I spoke to you, of, "Elton." WELL- - I, was a jerk, "perhaps." I handed him money, to obtain "gas," and "clothes!" THAT, was Over a week ago. Peoples, I haven't heard a word from him, SINCE.

           I, am worried, for, the LAST time, he took such a pause, he landed back, behind the iron curtain. THIS, will be the THIRD time. I felt , as to be an anal canal, for "I," gave him the loaded gun, to score the drugs, he seems to be enamored by. "I was TRYING to help!" However, I was told by suggestion, to have gone WITH him, picked the gas, and HELPED , choose the outfits. THEN, scoot! "WITH THE CHANGE IN ME OWN POCKET!"

             Elton, has not , YET, spoken to me, as of a perished soul. PERHAPS, he's cool! Perhaps, he's busy?!!  PURHAPS- I should focus on the good!!? However, I, have a Feeling, I skrewed up.      "Guinevere!"

           As my chidren and I, attended Church, this morning, as the shorter ones romped ledgidibly, the , Older ones, shared, in SOUND session, the FACT, that - WE, all, have some of the SAME ties! The tears, ran DEEP. Hardly, ANYone, of us, left, with, UNswollen eyes, nor souls! THE ONES- whom THOUGHT, they were above others, perhaps, better, FOUND- "WE," are NOT, so far appart!

               It, matters, NOT, What one wears, NOR, the tag that lies beneath it!! It, Matters, the Heart, and WHY, one has it BEAT! TOO, many, feel, it's the price tag, with which one clothes it??! THAT, IS "NOT," it! Whoops, I'm begining to state:0 I, suppose, it's my turn, to say , GOOD-Night.