Wednesday, September 26, 2007

What I am feeling.IS, ironic, YET, Monumental!

I despise this coloure! Yet, I have it, emanating from my pores!!

          Ya wish to know, what pisses me off, THE MOST? FAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!   Guess who called, and showed up, at our House? " " ELTON!" "   Yes in Gosh, Darn Deedie, after Mega Months!  He JUST, got out of some sort of Correctional Facility, AGAIN, due  to , { what he says } to be a, "TECHNICALITY!"

            oh, FUCKIN' , yIPPIEEEEEEEEEEE Vomit What Stinks??!!!

           Despite the radiant way, he posed himself , OH- by the way, THE , day after his BIRTHDAY!!  I KEPT, my composieure', and remained , SOLID, in my address of him! 

          {{  Lemme tell Ya, it was by the Grace of GOD, for, 4 REAL, I wished to tear him UP! }} His muscles were protruding, his stamina was Complete, and his EYES, were Hypnotic! [ besides, i'm hornier than a Viking in Heat! } Awe, that's , another story.

           If you wouldn't mind, I'd wish to share a FACT, about ELTON, with you. Elton, is a die HARD Heroin JUNKIE! Personally, I gave it a try, and, CAN NOT see the Attraction????? Me, personally, USED to be into the FAST lane.  I, gave it UP, 'cuz I have better things to do with my life.  

             Quite HONESTLY, I can't figure the URGE for a HIGH, that causes one, NOT to complete a sentence??!!! Ya ITCH, like NO bodies buisness, in areas, that are QUITE , embarrasing , to scratch!

            Awe, just fuck it! WHEN, I tried it, it made me , Nil-and VOID?!! NOW, I CAN, understand, that, one wishes to ESCAPE from ANYTHING, they are feeling! " " BEEN THERE, DONE THAT! " " Simply, ONE, Must grow the fuck UP! "Shit Happens!" IT, IS, an INescapeable FACT! From what I have learned, IF, one does it, in abundance, The Body, gets ADDICTED, And, whence it IS removed, it makes one, ACHE, like the devil!

                 NOW, what confuses ME, IS, after a L-O-N-G time, without it, WHY THE FUCK, WOULD ONE , WISH TO START THE REALM OF AGONY, ALL, OVER, AGAIN??!!!

              THE, Only conclusion, { to me }, IS- yer a fuckin' WHIMP! THIS, after the joneses have departed, is the TIME, when YOU git to take the / Your World by Storme, and Throw Down!!!!!!!!!!  Ya squelched the D T's! NOW, IS, the time to BLOSSOM!

         It KILLS me! Elton, is a man, whom TAKES the innitiative, to prune himself, like , { my opinion } that MOST dudes, wouldn't shake a stick at! His TOE-NAILS, are kempt! His Fingernails, ARE styled, and nurtured! On his SECOND DAY OUT, he Chose, to pay ME, a visit, lest, afore, he Made SURE, his balding head was properly shaved and buffed??!!!  THEREFORE, What the Fuck? IS there, Something I'mMissin'?

         Allow me to be, More precise. I, DO NOT do, nor can or WILL I get drugs! SOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo, my blow jobs, CAN'T be THAT good! { I MUST secure... I do NOT Blow just anyone! } however, Tony taught me HOW to do it, AND, why! All's I did, to Elton, was give him a FOOT massage! O.K., I hooked his back up , too! YO!- I'm good at it:) Basicly, I FEEL, the friggin' Valium, ETC., can go to YOU KNOW WHERE, " " IF " ", EVERYONE, had Mandatory, FULL body massages! At LEAST, thrice a month!  O.K., I'm going out on a limb, here... FUCK WAR! Get the Countries together, and MASSAGE! Skrew the stupid bullettes! YEP, I, AM my own Person.

            Ya know, I, WAS, where Britney Spears is. She's a little girl, with the World, THROWN in her face! Personally, I'd appreciate to SLAP THE PIUSS outta her Mom!  WHY, are peoples, THROWN to the WOLVES?? So, Fucking WHAT, if yer a starlette! IF, people are SO Starved for something to look at, Perhaps they should git their OWN lives!! She's a little woman! ALL, she was shown, is to shake her coochie, and hang out with OVERPAID , Other whenches, that have NOTHING better to do, than  to git ANNIAHLATED, and dance naked on tables in POSH clubs??!!!   JEE, who wishes to fuck me, this night? WHERE , did the treasures of , Tradition / Family Galas / something called, PRIDE, GO??!!!

           I WATCHED my Daddys wife, get SUCKED into, a life , where ALL she required, WAS , WHAT the fucking LABLE said it was!  Personally, when MY Babies bring home a picture from School, that they made, 'I , frame it, and hang it, proudly, where a-l-l can see! ' Daddies wife, would NEVER have it, for it CLASHED with "Picaso!" Perhaps, that's Brits / Eltons' disfunction?!  IF, Yer gonna have Children, Perhaps, one should NOT rent 'em out. Gail, wished The Best 4 me! I, was just, too rebellious and tossed, to realize it!  Sign my ASS, Marilyn! Maybe Ya can sell it.

          I'd ADORE to SEE, EJ's Family, stick their Hearts in, to hold and nurture him, like they NEVER did! SURE, Jack, his dad, sold pot, so much, that EJ., could snag some to SEEM like a Big SHOT, by passing it to the other Children, whos parents didn't give a fuck. YEAH- besides pot smokin', Jack shot up Cocaine / ETC.!  The mutha skrewed every bitch he could git his hands on. The fucker, TRIED, EVEN, to bang ME! So- I kissed him, and then punched him in the face.he LEFT!  Alls he wished to do, was score his SONS woman??!!! What a , pathetic imbosile!            Later...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

If I don't SHARE, I shall Explode.

 Football I'm UNsure, and Quite vulnerable. There are people, whom are going to wish to spank me, after reading this!! Ashley, has asked her Daddy, for some needed books, and he plans on delivering them , tomorrow, whilst the Children are at School. Our commode is on the fritz, so he is going to take a peek at it.  USUALLY, he would deposit the stuff, in the mailbox I built, and scooted. However, he's coming IN, and , it's been AGES, since I've been able to encompase him. SHIT, I haven't enveloped ANYone, in , I can't recall when!!!

                 We spoke on the phone, a bit, of The subject. It elavated me, and , I bowed my head in shame, that , ALL I could REcall, was, how delightfully, we were able to mesh. WELL, That way, BUT- N-O-T, mentally. 

         Then, Megan called him back, and voiced her feelings, that, ""WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COME HOME AND WE BE A FAMILY?""  Of COURSE, he replied, "I can't, your Mom and I fight , TOO much!!"  I almost had an accident, for, she replied, " THAT'S what parents DO!"  "ALL my friends parents do it, WHAT makes you and Mom any different?" I almost soiled myself!

          SAD part of it, IS, she's RIGHT??!!! Because of finances / bodily statures / menopause /  mid life crunches, ETC., { I feel comercials have a BIG to do on it } she's RIGHT!   Besides the control issues, we are ALL FUCKED up! I was told, that Cassidies' parents, FIGHT, Constantly. What the fuck is wrong with US?? The LORD, allowed us to , not only FIND eachother, but to conceive BEAUTIFUL Cherubs, and all we seem to be able to do, is pick fights with eachother??!!!

                 For REAL, fer real, the separations, merely take a toll on the economy, for , BOTH ousted ones, need depend on the state funds to mask our skrew ups!

         To be PAINFULLY  honest, Alan, is a VERY , 52 yr. old man , whom, is NOT allowing his WIFE to take CARE of him. He asked me for a divorce, THEN, after I said YES, concludes, that it's up to ME to pay 4 it??!!!  THIS, only shows me, THAT, it's not ACTUALLY, what he wishes!

         I, did NOT , say "I DO." JUST to back OUT!!!!!!!!!!!  IF, he needs me, it's MY loyalty, to CARE for him! "I," Am his WIFE!!!!!  He tells me, on the phone , this evening, that his pecker doesn't work anymore. BIG FUCKING DEAL! my EMOTIONS ARE AWRY, AS WELL! Jeepers, we're BOTH going through the changes of LIFE! Alan, get a grip. NONE of US, got it goin' ON!

        Pardon, if I have stated too, much. However..."out of the mouths of Babes!"  tyVm;)- Kicking Dirt 

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

This evening, I learned of, Yet, another, whom has passed on.

 No WeepyDo NOT get it twisted, PLEASE!  I COMPLETELY, realise, DEATH Scared To Death 2, IS a virtual , part of LIFE! In Real Life   Simple fact, is, these PEOPLE, were a design of MY existance. Since, my tabloids went in a different direction, I lost the Right, to be informed?!!  By the time I WAS, ALL had Passed. Perhaps, it's a good thing?! WHO KNOWS?!!

           Did you EVER , Notice, that at the turns of the Seasons, all, haavock breaks loose?!!!!  To be HONEST with Ya, I have MORE support, than one could shake a stick at! Especially , since I'm sitting here, in the Covenant of my home, mine Girls are , enraptured in solace, ALMOST asleep, and , simply because I have bills, UNpaid, throgging out of my EARS, it's gonna BE fine!

          In the PAST, I treated LIFE, like "IT," owed ME something??! FACT, of the matter, IS, I have CHANGED my HEART.  This evening, I "WINTERCleaned." ""I AM A PACK RAT!"" i GET ATTACHED TO A DUST BALL, 'CUZ IT meant SOMETHING, beautiful, 2 ME?!! YEP!, call the dust  5-0!!!!!!!!! Well, at least, allert the sanitarium;)  Belly Laugh  WHEN, I returned from my excursion, that took me away from my Babies , I came home to a hoard of  'DUST RHINOS,' as well as NO, FUCKING Organization! { PISSED ME OFF LIKE NO BODIES BUISNESS! } yohe! i'M not purrrrfect!  Bow Down Before You  , HOWEVER, as "Janice Joplin," sings, "Oh LORD, won't Ya buy me , a coloure T.V., 'Dialing 4 Dollars,' is TRYING 2 FIND me!"  THAT'S IT!

             On the 10th, of September, it was my PRIVILAGE, to light a White candle, to UPlift, the existance of my Daddy. He passed on , last November. THIS, is something, I stood as silent and stone-cold, as I could possibly muster! I, had to be the strong one, for my daughters, AND, my so-called husband??????! AND- so I DID! I SHRIEKED, after the services, as my Babies were else-where. I , REgained my composieure, whence they came home, and , PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY, for a YEAR!  {back in the day, i'd a JACKED myself so high, falling would have been a BLESSING! } I, said NO! and i meant it.

           However, my HEART came a-tumblin' down, on , The 10th! Matter of FACT, THAT- is when I learned of Deschlers' Death. {HE, was a GOOD Friend of mine. }WEIRD?, back THEN, MOST peoples, woulda BET, BOTTOM DOLLAR, I'd be first to GO! Guess a few LOST the bet.

             This write, is becoming, a bit TOO, tumultuous, 4 me, at the moment,"What a Fool Belives," just got done, so, perhaps, so am I, for this evening.

                 BESIDES- I GOTSTA git used to these friggin' teeth, withOUT Ralphing. Thanks, for listening, for if SOMEONE, wasn't THERE, I'd be plopped! Peace Out...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Honesty, REvisited.

As usual, my life has a confusing effect, upon me.  MANY things, about my existance, are phenominal! 'Cept, there are a few that, I allow, to cause me DOUBT, FEAR, Confusion??! Fucking $$, is a Biotch!  HOWEVER- when ISN'T it.

           I , appear, to be taking , better CARE of 'me.' Where the plop THAT came from, I'm not sure. Since we have , a mere pttance to feed the world with, the world eats , afore I do! COOl thing, of it , IS, they leave me some WAY, Cool leftovers;) Eating Pie Wakka WakkaI'm slightly irked-confused!  Their dad, makes the $$ of god, and , YET- he calls them, 'NEVER,' to ask if they need sumpthin'! Here I am, robbing Peter, to pay Paul, "NOT DUE TO DRUG 'OR' ALCOHOL ABUSE!" , BUT THE SQUIRMMASTER, IS A PISS-ANT! ""i love my girls!"", is his periodic claim. JEEPERS, WE CAN'T TELL!

                            AWE, boink it!

      THEN, there's the mauling of the kitties. I, adore it, WHEN they sleep in me bed with me!!   Still, I don't blame 'em NOT to, for, during the nights process, I MAUL 'em! I FEEL the warmth, and I FEEL the departure of a body from NEXT 2 me, SO- I toss the Teddy Bear, and nibble 'em up. SHIT- I'd RUN, 2! LOL- I don't EVEN , verbally warn 'em! Yumpin' Yimmini', I'm snoozed! Ya got this WARM, fuzzy , person, whom loves Ya, and-WELL!  {Do NOT go THERE! } 

         THEN, I've got my Friends.  I'm, NOT, QUITE sure, who's stuff , is WORSE?!!  It seems, we ALL got a bunch of S-T-U-F-F goin' on! 

           JESUS, says , HE's takin' US Home! Granted, we're gonna go THROUGH a bunch of HOGGWASH, afore our departure!! STILL- I seem to be getting , MORE, Easily tired, as time goes ON!! I watched , "the Mel Gibson / film, " { i forgot the name. } STOP!- it was "Madd Max!"ALL of 'em, had to make due, with, ANYTHING, that they could muster! I, am, Beyond Thunderdome! Think I shall fail?? NO FUCKIN' WAY!              I need to , go git me Babies! Thank you, 4 allowing me to vent. 

Thursday, September 6, 2007

My mind running Overspill

Did you ever get to a point of existance, where, Ya just, can't shut Yer mind off? I believe, I'm there, today.

         Last night, I was blessed to spend a delightful evening, with two, Good Friends and my Babes. We cooked out, {I was blessed with ribs } and, after the Children set for bed, {School the next day }, we sat and talked , for a couple hours, about topics, which ran DEEP, within us. I, would have bet me bottom dollar, that Ya-Ya, would become irked with a few of the statements I made. BUT- the little bugger did JUST, The opposite!!  She chose to delve in, as deeply as did I, and , yet again, I realised that I , DO, have a cherished friend. It would appear, she aches, as heartily, as do I, "IF-" we let it git to us!! Her poor boyfriend, found himself in a catch 22 , situation. He could , IN NO WAY, completely decipher, NOR, difuse, the convo, and , as I periodically cast my gaze toward him, witnessed this man, becoming EXHAUSTED. SOoo, I , intricately, brought an end to the drama  Hmm 2

        They, had made a conjigal bet, the other one, would succumb to give up to a sexual encounter?!! I HAD 2 ask, "Is this some kind of torturous Foreplay?"  The answer , 'of course,' was "NO!" However, I watched her, and him, {HER MOSTLY} apply EVERY technique, to conquer the other, Almost as if an award would be given?!!  I've known Ms, Ya-Ya, for quite some time, and , never as much as these days, have come to understand, she has an insatiable desire, to be able to claim the ART of seduction! It seems to inflate her, completely, as she watches her victim, buckle at the knees, whilst she applies her strongest , Most alluring qualities. SHE GETS OFF, on squashing  her apponent. Awe, we all have our own idiocincrosies!

          WHICH, brings me to BILLY! Here is a man, I have , { for quite some time } found to allure ME! I'm a picky son of a gun!! He's , fuck it, Ya'll know the jist! Yet, a more gentle, hard working man, aside from Trone, have I ever found, whom FITS so well with me:( Eating Pie  Lollipop  Miss U SOOOOoooooo, I find myself at a loss, wondering WHY, he has NO time / desire, to remain with me, so that we may snuggle lifes' hardships, away, FOR ALWAYS?!! I, applaude, his dedication, to his Children!!  I wish , NOT, to prevent the attachment, JESUS, why would I? I feel the SAME way about MY Cherubs!!!!!!!! As a matter of fact, some of his Children, find me to be , pretty cool. {nowordalie }!!   This man, travels, periodically, MILES AND MILES, simply to talk with, and sometimes kiss me! Billy brought me a 'PIXIE" plant! I, simply spoke of how nice it would be, if he picked me a Daisy, one , three times. I happened to mention, how I appreciated if he were to pull my hair a bit, as we kissed. HE DID IT! I happened to mention, I ,L-O-V-E having my back clawed nicely. HE DID IT! dO YOU see WHAT i MEAN? His gentle desire to place a smile , on my face / heart, is MEZMIRIZING! As well as, I'd dig nothing more, than to put a few EXTRA dryer sheets, as I did his work clothes,just to remind him, he IS appreciated. His 'wife,' is a somewhat, BADGER! She dictates at him, and awaits to confiscate his paycheck?!! YEAH! I KNOW, he's married Embarrassed  Blushy . It's N-O-T my style!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yet there IS, something awefully Beautiful, betwixt US! A Magic such as THAT, can NOT be ignored.

          Please allow me to give you an example. I, 2, am still married to a man, whom HATES my soul! He lives elsewhere, and always will!! He asked me for a divorce, I lollygagged for a sec, THEN, called him, and said, "YES SIR!" He told me , all I had to do was sign the papers, and we'd be done. I REJOICED at the papers arrival! Two months later, I called , and asked , where in Heaven they WERE?! The response I got, was, "YOU are GOING to have to pay for them!" THIS, is from the man, whom the State, T-A-K-E-S $111.23 , per week, from his paycheck, the one where he make $13.98 per hr., and, whom hasn't the gumption nor LOVE, to call, request, consider his Children, at ALL! I'M SUPPOSED to aquire ALL they need, by myself, on #111.23 a week, AS WELL AS, foot the bill for the divorce HE requested.?!And he SAYS "I," am the strange one. And Ya know something? NEVER once, did I ask Billy for a CENT! NOR will I!

        Iv'e HAD my verbal ejaculation. The Moody Blues, are playing, "Nights In White Satin," and I find myself, done speaking. "Just what I'm going through, they just can't understand."

         My Beautiful, cousin Gail, whom lost her LOVE to Cancer, used to touch base with me, a lot. I am under the impression, perhaps I hurt her, in some way, for she  seems to have THROWN herself into a continuation of her life, and I fear, I haven't bestowed ENOUGH to her?!! She's In Mexico, I, am in Penna.! Our secured connection, is the Web. I have sent her many things, HOPING, she'd find solace from them / me, but, I feel I have fallen short. I , simply PRAY, she Knows , beyond the shadow of a doubt, how she makes me feel Centered, loved, needed.

          i AM, making progress. TOO, many times, I doubt me, and , I ALMOST allow the devil to skrew with my mind Duh  Thumbs Down  Thumbs Down , However, As I KEEP my eyes, Focused on JESUS, the little assholians , Just, Can't mutilate me. Neither can I, WELL, not TOO badly:) I STILL find myself, to BE, my OWN, worst enemy. Besides, I have found a Friend, whom Adores JESUS, as much as do I, and she continues to E-Mail me, daily, as I do her. If I REALLY WAS, a reject, she'd NOT complete my / OUR connection. Char, has provided me, with LOVING sends and acceptance, and I am PROUD of portions of ME, that attract someone of her magnitude.

          LAST snigglette- my friend , Lynda, has asked me to be her sponsor. She is IN recovery from alcohol, and entrusted to share this journey , with me Kisses ?!! I, am HONORED, AND scared, for THIS is MUCH reponsibility!!  I wish NOT to fail. All I can do , is share from my Heart and Soul. WHICH, Belongs to JESUS! PLEASE, Pray for us ALL, Including yourself Lips !