What a Beautiful way, to Welcome a NEW YEAR...

 What a YEAR, it has been!  

         Normally, I'd be on the pity pot. However, this change time, I am profoundly excited. Granted, I lost my Daddy/a-n-d , Marilyn, BUT, in the PAST, I'd have gone to the plops over it!! This time of surreal predicaments, I have found a ground to actually STAND on!!  There are NO DRUGS , ANYwhere in my life. Now, granted, I still indulge in a beer, here and there...still, it is done QUITE responsibly!

          I have found a job, that I am most tickled with:) It , is, at Burger King, and it provides me with an array of alter job descriptions, which, in turn, make it NOT a bore. Besides, the others , whom I work with , are as off kilter as I am, and we , actually have a blast! I, AM convinced, my Daddy is quite proud, for I have held it, AND blossomed within it, for OVER , three months, and there isn't an end in sight. Yo!, The LORD ain't done with me YET!! For, I doNOT drive, and all is in harmonious walking distance of my home/my childrens school/ my Babes Y.M.C.A.! That, is where they are bused to, after school, so that I may provide.

         These people, INCLUDING the school, are so helpful, and WHY?, is because they are PROUD of the progress I am EARNING, for THE first time in my life.Please, permit me to go ONE further...!  Upon returning from a Beautiful , candlelit Vigil, at our Church, and, after they placed cookies for Santa/Cocoa 2, and, whilst I prepared the Turkey, for Christmas dinner, a school bus and a pick-up truck, pulled up in front of my house! UNfortunately, I pondered , "MUST BE NICE TO HAVE $$$." I, went back to the Bird, and, in a few secs, a knock came upon our door, and BELLS, like ALL git out!I opened the door, only to be greeted by a FULLY CLAD Santa, and nineteen Elves! "Holy Shit!," was all I could pop off with. Then, Santa smiled, and asked, "WHERE is Ashley and Megan?"       "They're asleep, " I replied. "WAKE 'EM UP!", I was instructed. So....I DID. It seems, they put in SECRET Santa wish lists at school, and THIS, is what became of it. HE, and his Elves, marched in , and dumped presents , GALORE, all over our couch!! The girls/ME- were STUNNED! He bid us a Happy/Merry/Health Holiday Season, and bugged out. My children, opened ONE GIFT, marveled at it, STILL SHOCKED, and went back to bed, ILLUMINATED with magical fervor and amasement!

                   Truth be told, this WAS , THE, Most exciting Christmas, we've EVER spent. A couple of days , later, we received a call from , Kathy, at Dunmore Elementary School, asking , IF the children got what they wished for, and were they happy?! "HAPPY?", I exclaimed, they are STILL Rocking!!!!!!!! I explained , how I wished to write a story for the NewsPaper, BUT- she asked me NOT to, for THIS, Secret Santa, one time a year, does this for THREE families, and, does it for the sake of helping others, Worthy, deserving, and less fortunate, and IF- I was to reveal this...TOO,many, would be knocking his door down.I understood, beyond the shadow of a doubt, and , asked, "May I write, Directly to HIM?" Kathy said yes, and that she would make sure HE gits it.

         May The LORD , Bless HE and HIS family, and, may he know how wonderful, he helped GOD!

          Tomorrow, is New Years Eve! My children and I, are Quite blessed. We, have earned Good Friends/People/FAMILY members, ETC! I, shall adore, to spend the Evening, safe, Grateful , and at home with my Family, as we observe the Ball, drop, in a way, I NEVER knew was possible.

The Amount of Beauty, I was NOT ready for.

 Hello- ,

                       I, am  not sure , how this pose is gonna go. I was just informed, my wish for text, cannot be applied?! So- - - - -Here goes.

               Lately, I have been experiencing some resounding instances! For the first one...my girls and I , dedicated ourselves, to our Churches , 1ST, LIVE Manger display! It consisted of three sheep, and a small, grey, FUZZY donkey, named "Noah." Due to the participation of the human entities of our Church Family, we were also, able to include 3Wise people, three Angels, the Baby Jesus, and Mary and Joseph.

              Now, Harrison Ave., an Avenue, which holds a MAJOR traffic route, has NEVER afore, seen ANYthing like this! Thanks BE- we had proper bars, to keep the livestock safe.As we cascaded into the grateful procession, I observed , both , Church members, as well as passers by, delve into tears. It T-O-U-C-H-E-D, people , Deeply, in a neighborhood, that has so much traffic, that of the drug kind, as well, and they found a sense of solace, HOPE and Peace. I, was a part of ths, including my girls! Lemme tell Ya something! BACK in my day, I'd have had NO desire to take part in something like this! I, was , simply TOO busy, with less important things, that, "I," found to be better??!  BUT, this time , around, I took GREAT Joys, in sharing such a profound collection of "Loving Substance!" THIS- "WILL," be something I had NO chance of recalling back upon, in my life! My children, will, NEVER forget this.As well, neither , will I! THIS, was a cherished memorie, that I gave myself, and my kin, the chance to revel in. NOPE- I, am NOT trying to claim GREATNESS!! I, am simply sharing some facts of my existance!

           Please, let me share, how flippin' tired I am! I, have been going 24/7!! A single Mother, attempting to prepare a Christmes, worthy, as well as, go figure, sustain a placement in our society, withOUT a credir card, to shine some kinda worthwhileness, in a comunity that is HEAVILY padded with sizeable bank accounts. Aside from, this is The 1ST Christmas, I am spending without the safety/love net of my Daddy. Pardon me, but , I haven't got SHIT to feel I have to fall on, as I have for 42 years of my existance! Awe, skrew! The FACT of the matter, IS, we adjoined Church, yet again, this morn, as my girls and the rest of the shorter peoples, orchestrated a program. that was profoundly, WELL delivered! AND, guess, who the boink , showed up? ALAN!

                  Yes, I AM a pathetic putz! The girls, wished him to be able to view their promotion, and the wretch said YES! I, did NOT transport him!! He got there , on his own steam. And, after he ceased to enjoy the after feast, as I aquired a DElectable dessert of peanutbutter/chocolate succulent, and returned to the table, I , was informed that, "Daddy LEFT- he has to see The Steelers play!" No Good-Bye! NO, nothing.! Skrewball, ME- found my heart hurt??! Jeepers, I should KNOW , BETTER, by now!Perhaps, I was a tad bit EMBARRASSED! Our congregation, are NOT, fuckin' blind! Awe- plop!

              THE cool thang, was , that, one or four, approached me, and stated their praise of me?!! I, was commended , for the proper way, the girls acted, as well as, the fact I DIDN'T flatten/accepted him, to where he SHOULD be!EHY!- nothin' GOOD, comes EASY! At LEAST, I'm trying.

            Ya know, I believe, he- would like to rule the world.Thank GOODNESS, he doesn't HAVE the stuff!AND- thank GOODNESS, neither do I! NOT, that I'd wish to.Still, I embraced the Beauty, of this Marvelous regimine of time. It will NOT , be forgotten! And, neither will YOU.

I, am NOT sure , what to make of it , all.

Permit me to begin. My children, and I, were enraptured, by a resounding Church service, that encompassed, FOUR Baptisms. The, entire service, was a delightful listen.It, was, also, followed, by an uncanny Bible Study/ nibble emporium!   During the study process, I , had uttered a statement or two, touching on the subject we were reflecting upon.

           I, kept it quaint. However, a stout gentleman, happened to agree, with something I had uttered, and gave me praise, saying, "I feel we should listen to the mouth..." TRUST me, he meant nothing , but to shine on the fact, that a site was to be reflected on by mouth! The poor man, turned seven shades of crimson! I, TRIED to REassure him, I'm not , that breakable, and KNEW , exactly where he was coming from.  However, he seemed to feel the need, to apologise, seventeen times?!      Being ME- I stated, "PLEASE, doNOT git yer panties into a bunch!".... the entire room, became  elated with gentle laughter:):)

               We, then , continued, on a topic, of, "What WILL you do...when it's the last second, and, WHY?" NOW- THIS, is just between you and I.  My statement, proclaimed, what is DEEPER, than our Totem Pole, of material plop. "It delves, deeper than that!" I, exclaimed. BOTTOM line, we had a Heaven of a discussion! It ended, with a lovely cessation, whilst, Sharon, ONE of our teachers, closed with a bag of "Godiva,chocolates," for each one of us. I haven't salivated, as of yet, one of the lovely morsels, BUT...     The DREAM, of when I DO, makes me giggly:)-

             Later, this day...Ms. Marshe, stopped by, with an artificial TREE! Christmas, of course. The girls and I, reveled, in placing it UP! As, I RAN for the kindred decorations, we have kept , for YEARS-...I found, that , most...are GONE! ALL, the "Babys' FIRST/"The ones they made in school/the ones, I assisted, with my gift of crochette, have been TOSSED??!

           Women and gentlemen, I bit my fucking tongue OFF!  The girls, and I, dressed this little TREE, like we were awaiting The Pope! I, do NOT mind, promising, that, it looks FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! Those PRECIOUS children, KNEW- what was missing! However, they kept , good composieur, and felt like The BOMB, after they did so WELL!- - - - - - - -My EX-yetstill- husband, when I had to depart for 4 months, made sure he tossed 1/2 of me/US!  The GOOD Book, says, to turn the other cheek. And, so I shall!  As, I shared in Bible Study- For the FIRST time in my life, since mt Daddys' passing, {he was a care taker!} I, am standing on the ground, somewhat, ALL by myself, without, a safety net. And, for the first time in my existance, I feel as broad as Sampson! In the past, MOST of it....I , always felt, someone was going to pick me UP.  Now, KNOWING, that that luxury, has passed...I'm NOT - relying on someone to pick my ass up! This- - - - is on, ME!!!!!! Therefore, it's my chance., to buck the fuck UP, and get a spine!

            After, the girls and I, completed The TREE, it was time for BED! One, accepted it, wonderfully! The, other, ranted like a Viking in Heat! Usually, due to my own exaustion/ETC., I'd have gone O-F-F! YET, my progress, has paid off. I/my, tone, remained calm??! GOTTABEGOD,  and I didNOT whallope, NOR did I lose it! I, kept my voice at an even keel, and , embraced her, KNOWING, she was SOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo OVERtired. At the END..., the Viking, wished a drink.              Recalling, Marilyns' ridgedness, I paused.....                    and , in a few, came in with what she wished.  At THIS , moment, they both lay resoundly quiet, and UNharmed. THIS, gave me leighway, to conclude the preparations, we have done so well.

                  At , THIS point, I must bid you ado. My, responsibilities, require, that I disconnect the lights, from afront the house. I, need to tickle the cat, and BREATHE, afore I attempt sleep. YEP- I'm a person, whom has warped the system. BUT-, you can kiss my buttercup, if Ya think, I don't have something wonderful to offer! I'm, NOT, in the LEAST , requireing any promise of payment! Being, the way I am becoming, is priceless! THIS, is WHY, it's so fun to BE like. UNCONDITIONAL- what a HIGH!  I, USED, to, inject , 80 units, into any vein I could locate:( Simply, to feel SOMETHING????????>! OR- else NUMB, all I DID feel. What A waiste!      I, observed, others, attempting, to locate a sound , administeration point, in their breasts, ETC>! Who, the plop needs, THAT kind of escape? IT- is NOT an escape! It's a TRAP, MOST, canNOT git outta!!!!!!!!!!!  

                   WHY, do SO many, adore, U2? They sing, and for GOOD reson, what we lost the ability, to be able to say/sing!

Life, STILL, continues to amaze me...

...because, for most of my life, I was the , Most rebellious twerp, You'd a EVER met!Yet- durning the h-e-l-l, I put MYSELF , through, sumpthin' happened?!! FINALLY, I changed me stuff??! I, look at things, with SUCH , different eyes!

          Allow me to be, more exact. "Burger King!" Now, most would find it to be a menial placement! However...I find, that , I am part of a TEAM, whom supplies the world, with a Substantial neccessity! Have you taken the time, to ponder, how , VERY important , "Burger King," IS?!! WAY, many, RELY, on what we have to offer, as a needed PART, of their lives! I, have become a companion, to REGULARS! We, have become, known to eachother, on a FIRST name , basis! Besides, I , AM, part of a machiene, that needs, ALL participants, to, ROCK, so the mechanism doesn't fail, nor, fall lacksadaisical!

             NOPE- this is NOT Rocket Science! OR- is it?? This , is, a WELL oiled productivity line, that supplies the WORLD, with a meal! , when they dearly require it!FIRST, I am finding, "it's ALL , HOW one looks at it!" Second, I, am providing a neccessity, and being, Heaven Proud of IT!

           More, and more, they are allowing me to work the cash register. THIS way, I git to meet, SO, many people, and the managers, whom watch CLOSELY, at my delivery, shake their heads , and giggle:)- During , THE, MOST, pressing flow of patrons, I, am dutiful, on the grill/buns:):). AND- I  do it , WELL! I, am winning, even though my Daddys' wife , told me I KILL, everything I love!

         It , IS, The Christmas season. I, SO, totally dig it, for , THIS- IS, the time , where I feel safest of ALL! I, have , {as some would find it,} NOTHING! However, I beg to differ! I, am richer, than the Donald, himself! Trump, that is. Many years, it was by the Grace of GOD, I got through , ANYTHING! "WE, have all been here before!" "Crosby, Stills, and Young."Yet- as I progress, more and more, are becoming PROUD of me, and find , such delight, in assisting my attempt at , WHAT is GOOD!

           Please, may I be more direct. One of the women, I work with, and , her husband, blessed us with a 27 inch , floor model RCA television! FER FREE! They placed it in, and he, transported the living room one, INTO, my Babies room! My, children, are extatic! And, due to my proper behaviors, I, am Grateful! My EX- has some , severe problems, and , DETESTS me, thoroughly, for my progress. THIS- is the man , I , ONCE, gave my heart and soul to. But , the better I grow...the more he stumbles!

             During , the holiday season, I , am expected to allow him to join our circle of blossoming life. GOD, forgive me, but, I am NOT in the mood! My girls, and I, have become , "THE POWER PUFF GIRLS!"     I, am Blossom. Ashley, is Bubbles, and Megan , Is Buttercup!      Alan, IS- Mo JO Jo-JO! The simpleton, obtained, TWO, six week old kittens, as a lure for the girls, and , named one, "Jo-Jo." The OTHER, furry baby, he callls , "Gizmo!" After the Gremlin movie, "I" introduced the girls to! WHY, must, there ALWAYS be some sort of competiton???  Me, personally...find, it's best to breathe yer own , fuckin air!Still, one MUST be , as Christian, as one IS able! JESUS, forgives! If, HE didn't, I'd be in a rutt! However, this flatulent, butt head, takes this to the realms of height!"TURN THE OTHER CHEEK!"

           WELL, I , spose, this is why. FINALLY, my headaches, have lessened, and , I , AM, moving into a realm, this little maggot, canNOT follow. Let me, assure YOU, I , am in NO way, purrrrfect!!!!!!!!!!!!! However- - - - Me Poppy, told me, long ago..."IF, you are doing your best!.....None, can ask ANYthing more of you!"

                  During , this bodaeceous bathroom read....I, have mentioned, that I had led me to a maximum Penetentery! At, the near to the end of my stay..."I, BELIEVE, was the peek of my awareness! THERE, is where I realized, life IS a circle! "It, does NOT begin/NOR end, with me!"MAY, THE circle, be UNbroken!"IF," More , found this to be sincere, perhaps, One, would NOT, spend 45 mins., searching for the remote control, in which to change a channel! WHY, just not, get OFF yer tushie, and press a different button, on the television??!GOD FORBID, but- if one was to eat/survive, back in a day....one NEEDED to EARN what they reaped! just, MY OBSERVATION.

             Thank you, for taking the time, to ponder, "What I think, IF- ANYone Cares!" I, am SO not attempting to write a "HOW TO!" Who the pluck am I? Just another sinner, sharing, is Caring. Peace Be Unto...

Yer going to have to pick Yer own!

Well, Grace cutt off! The Rolling Stones, have replaced her! I, was NOT in the frame to be braisen! BUT- I am. Not comletely , though. It's The Christmas holiday time. I, can't even pay bills, let , alone surmise gift payments:(. It's cool, though. Christmas, is NOT about, whom can work/eat all day, simply to , grab a sleeping bag, just to camp out for Black Friday??! I, am getting the impression, that it's NOT about the kids, anylonger. It's appearing , to me, like the Parental units, are in competiotion, of whom can OUT-but/provide, gifts of , More stature, than the OTHER parental unit, can!

        Did "U<" get a "WII?" OR- an X-box? I, know of a family, whom PAID for another , Japanees Family, to become American, just , so that, they could obtain, a WII! Boys and girls, what the fuck are we thinking??????????

            Do, you recall, the turmoil, afore CHRISTmas, where , TWO women, whent HEAD-to-HEAD over a Cabbage Patch DOLL????  Have you been consuming?

             Allow me to be a bit , MORE, precise. BREAK! "Elvis Costello!""Puppy Luv!".......Have Mercy, I needed that. Bottom line, where is the love? Whoops- I'm on a roll!

                   Purrrrrrhaps, it's , because, I ain't got a tree!m I have ALL these ormanents, and only a cat to hang 'em on. He, will NOT be pleased! Another aspect of my saucyness, is, it's me first Holiday , without me Daddy.For REAL, fer real, my heart goes OUT to him! It's a bitch...trying to measure up to the others, to obtain the way-coolest SHIT, fer Yer kid...on a fixed budget. The, little buggerboos, go , BACK to school, to, COMPAIRE! The buggers!

             However- I don't give a FLYING fig-neuton, what the fuck, they got, or- didn't!It , is NOT the reason, for THE season! I am certain, THIS, is why, there are SOOOOOooooooooooooo many credit card assemblies, promising, they can make the phone calls , S-T-O-P! I'm not sure , how YOU handle it....but, I'm at the point , of allowing the cat, to answer the phlippin' phone.He just , says meeeeeew, and they hang UP!

                 On a different topic... I'm, NOT, as fantastic, as I'd like to be! I, recently, lost my Best Friend/Daddy. I, was under the impression, I had it going on, and , a Bag of chips. I'm a jerk, for , even fathoming it!N-O-P-E, I, haven't begun a regimine of drug use!! I, gave that crap up, a LONG time ago! Yet- I wish to tell, SOMEONE, this shit ain't easy!

            I, am a single parent, of, TWO- Beautiful young women.BESIDES, I was a real POOP, for most of my existance!! I, for2long, felt, the Universe, owed me SOMEthing! How, could it NOT? I, didn't ask to come into this bullshit!OR- so I thought. Fact of the matter, IS- I can't remember, , ANYthing, afore the time that Marylin, made me last 45 mins, while she slept, and MANDATED me to watch, "Bewitched," twice, as Charles, my Dad, went to work! That horrendouse BITCH, came in, removed me from that horrendous crib/jail cell...,and would , NOT allow me to perspire. I was , WHAT, 2??????She, passed on...June 26th! I, have given it my FUCKING-BEST, to be Christian, about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today... I looked up , toward GOD, and Screamed , "I , owe you nothing!" "You, selfish, selfcentered assholian, that was MOST concerned with what the fucking TAG replied, KISS my ass!"

           PLEAZe , allow me to share something with you. NOT, ONLY, was I not permitted to sweat! But, all the orchestrations , I brought home with childish delight... were NEVER hung!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They musta been tossed, somewhere! Cuz, "I," never saw 'em , again! They Clashed with the Van Gohe-or, however Ya spell that ARTIST's name.

                  The , Funky thang about it, IS- ...I, am an Artist!So- Vincent, didn't lose his EAR, 4 nothing!When, I went to Prison....truth be told- "I," was the stupid witch, that issued other women , to obtain , their G.E.Ds'! I, helped, teach them to read-to do math, which I despise!-and SPELL- which I ROCK at. My Daddy, was SOOOOO proud, he could have plopped! This putz, couldn't have given a crap!

         At, ONE point, of my existance, I went on the road, with a BAND, as a roadie. On the NIGHT of MY Birthday, I called home. I, said Het Mom., it's my 22 B-Day! She, said, "no it's NOT!" "I, should know!"     "Yer a flaming asshole!", I replied. My Daddy, didn't remember, either!

            So- Ya see where my imbosilic RAGE, stemed from?