Wednesday, July 25, 2007

NOTHING, is what IT seems!

"She's GOT, to be somebodies Baby."

         I've done a LOT, of funkin' around, during me life! THESE days, I'm doing things, QUITE, a BIT differently.

         The , last, two days and nights, the Girls and I, spent, staying at an old and DEAR Friends house. She has TWO boys, { ages 4-6} I believe.  BOTH Children, are riddled with, the O.C.D's, A.D.D's, ETC-DD'S! The Children, are enveloped in love, and therapists, BESIDES, having to swallow, SEVENTEEN different drugs, thrice, daily! BOTTOM-LINE, one , MUST have the patience of a saint, in which to DEAL with THIS, on a Daily Basis! "It's NO-BODIES fault!" THIS- simply appears to be the cards that were dealt.

            NOW- the Mommie, is , semi-drug-free. She , also , suffers from Scolliosis {however one spells it } as well as , "slipped discs, ETC.!" Therfore, she requires some meds.,as well as , she is NOT related to "Donald Trump!" She is MANDATED, to gather assist , from, an Array of assist. Some of the helpers, are difficult to fathom! YET!- she canNOT cauterize them, for, she is in Definate need, of assist.

             During the time I was Blessed to spend with her and hers, I, BECAME, Severely humbled. "IF," I HAD 2 do that , day in and day out, I'd be in "Belview!" As my Children, accompanied me, AND, had a 'BLAST,' they, TOO, realized, we have NOTHING to BEEF about! I'm not quite sure, WHOM, was happier to be home, myself, OR, me Lasses??!!! { I , believe the kitties WERE, THE , Happiest! } They missed us to bits! {get OFF of me, I had me Friend, come and play with and FEED 'em! }

              I'm NOT going to fib 2 U! I, AM, completely EXHAUSTED! In , LESS than 5, I shall plots! In retrospect, of me Babes, going BACK to Camp, the 'morrow, I had a thang or 2, to secure! { JUST betwixed U & me } Hallelluia! Yet, MOST precise, I was THERE, with my Daughters, and we RANG True!

             "WE," were considerate/loving/helpfull/Christian, and , NO matter what it inflicted upon us, we STAYED, and felt a JOY, that Ya canNOT find in a "Speak-Easy!" NOR- can one FIND it in a Mall! I'm, pretty SURE, there's NOT a button, as such, on the remote, EITHER! {Charles is just shakin; his head! }(that's me Daddy );)- "GOD, rest his soul."

             THE odd part of it, WAS' , I, was Actually, planning, Contemplating, taking my Juggular, OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!F-U-C-K, the wrists! 'THIS,' was GOING 2 be done secure! I'm , sick and frappin' TIRED, with the scant fundage, the DREAMS, me Babes HAVE,  and ,I am slighting! 'Marilynn," kept telling me, IF- U R going to have Children, Ya'd BEST, be secure to P-R-O-V-I-D-E 4 THEM!" "IF,  you cannot, Yer a sinker!"

            THIS, May be so??! AND, whom am I, 2 conflict?!! YET- I watched, { from a distance,} the designator of these profound anticts, whom TRIED, DESPERATELY, to 'MOLD,' ME, to what she HAD to give up, spent the berrage of HER existance, RE-Placing , true and Honest joys, with a bunch of fucking lables, she had NOTHING 2 DO with!??????????????  GOD , FORBID, anyone break a sweat!ESPECIALLY, her!{ or me;)- }! Book Jerk Yo  AWE, guess, I'm One 2!You Wish HEY, Marilyn, I've been , continuing to make amends! You SAID / SPOKE, of your intelligence!??  WELL- I am, STILL, attempting to , forgive you! And, DAD-, I , THOUGHT, you were different?!! YET,- Ya , NEVER left me side!! I love Ya! I, always WILL!

             ENOUGH, with the Family status! 2 b hONEST, i'M FINDING , better ACCOMPANIMENTS,  rather than REAME' Ya'll.

 

                          "Say, 'Good-night, Gracie!'  "

       





Sunday, July 22, 2007

I have no idea...

 Volleyball 1 Sandy Beach   There is NO, WAY, I can, at the moment, figure out, what the fuck, makes people tick! 
           I'm not going to fib to you, I, meself, have a whole bunch of oddities to my Character! However, the rest of the human developement, is , { from what I am Learning ,} have so, Many different ones.

              I went to Church, today, and connected with a MULTITUDE of others, and I was STILL , Heard?!!  I have this Friend, named Melissa, and , she and I , continue to connect. Despite the fact, that, at ONE time, { perhaps two } were lovers, but had NO, recollect , WHY! Fact of the matter, IS- we are Friends, and always will be.  This poor lass, is at the crossroads , betwixed, her boyfriend, and her sons Daddy. This Lass, is Up , Against the wall of her heart and soul. AS- she deals her best, with the 'litle men,' she born, fom other man souls.

               At this point of my existance, I am capeable, to , actually LISTEN to her, as well as, she wishes to absorbe me feelings , cascading from my knowledge, of her l, and her scenario. WHOKNEW??!

            Saturday, my EX, calls , and requests that the girls be left for his watch, as well as responsibility ??!!! He, wished to provide them with their B-Day presents. No Prob.! HOWEVER, he secured, in theirs , as well as mine, that- he is an ongoing putz! They returned , home, with attitudes of ire, and frustration! I, find myself, next time he asks, to say,-"NO!"  It's , Just , NOT worth it. You, most likely, say, " Are you DAFT?" Perhaps I am, I'm simply confused. I, am TRYING, to be a Christian Woman, YET- as ALL times, I attempt this, it smacks me in the face! { as well does it do the SAME to them!!!!!!!!!!!!

                 I, wish to contiue this format, tommorrow, 4 I am EXHAUSTED! Mental  trauma, is tiring, and I, am SPENT.

                                                       PEACE, Be Unto....




Friday, July 20, 2007

I, have a Dancing Bear on my chest;)-

Yes!, I have returned. I am quite proud of myself, today. My EX-husband, is on a roll, AGAIN. He made promises , in order to show me up, afront of our Girls. Bless him, he skrewed it up, AGAIN. 

               THE cool part, of it, IS- I was blessed , in which to watch, 'Anger Management.' "I, feel Pretty, OH, SO Pretty, I feel Stunning..." Instead of spitting back at him, I, simply, began to sing it. WELL- Holy Hobinieros, did he get miffed!!!!!! Ya KNOW, I actually Meant it! {and he knew it. } It was DElicious, and self adoring. I, did NOT fall into his net!! I rose Above it, and he hung up, and DIDN'T call back. Na-na-na-na It, continues, to amaze me, how TOO many, have nothing better, than to be a hemeroid?!!  AND, I can Honestly tell you, I was , {for ages,} not more proud of meself:):)-

          YES- I know, it isn't THE, most Christian way to deal with someone. However, it was a blast. I, climbed above the self, and giggled, profusely, afterward!

              Afterwards, I claimed myself and my worth, and indulged in a rapturous shower, and smoothied meself, despite, curling me hair, and CARED 4 Carly! I, may not be able to afford, 'Loreal', but- I can care 4 me, just as pleasantly!

            TODAY, I went through this tiny Castle, like I was lit from DEEP, within! Fridays, are profound, 2 me, for The Children are home, and I NEED, to prepare, Properly, so that I lead them into a nurturing direction, of L-I-F-E! I didn't say I was of normalicy! I, don't beieve, I ever will be. It's NOT, what one does, but How / Why, one does it!


         My beloved , Maternal entities, have returned, from their frolick / quest for sound solace. I, do NOT , mind telling you, that without seeing them , upon my screen, I felt empty. I haven't much Family, left! Besides, 4 Most of my life, I have been a resoud mess up!! COOL part of it, IS, I am begining to pose as a Substantial Person. I, am in Quite a state of Shock, 4, a Friend or 2, continue to conact me, just to hear me thoughts, or, direction suggestions, having to do with Their lives??!!!!!! {who knew?}

                  Me Best Friend, celebrated her B-Day, Today! I Wished to send her something beautiful, like , the Flowers she bestowed upon me, as I turned a year better. However, I was incapeablr of calling her, to see, when the best time, in which to have it take place, would be righteous?!! Besides, I REALLY, do not have the fundage.

               I, Have to lay me body Down! Thanks, for letting me connect with you.




Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The magic Unveils...

 Jungle Guy  YEP! I'm in a MOST delightful mood.Freakie part of it, is , I shouldn't be?!!

        Lemme tell Ya why. I went to the dentist, today;) Dr, Hitt, actually, HAD me teeth, to be able to try on! Don't get crazy, now, I wasn't allowed to take 'em home, YET- BUT, I got to smile like the Cheshire Cat, I was born 2 be:):)-

         Granted, I'm a bit silly, at times. Yet, I find, that MOST peoples I meet, git a charge outta me:) THIS, is NOT drug induced, it's just , lil' ole' ME! This process, has taken QUITE a few MONTHS! SOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo, they have become to KNOW me. I, have never been raw 2 them, JUST THE opposite. {now, most of me life, I have neglected my appointments!!!! NOT, this time:) I, have taken NOTE of ME Woohoo, and conducted my betterment, with me heart, involved. I, kinda think, that me Daddy, is behind me! {GOD rest his soul.} Charlie, was , always trying to better me, fix me, and so on...     It , REALLY upset him, that he couldn't!! Personally, it WASN'T his fault! I, wouldn't let him. NOW, that I have these resound Children, IT, has cast a new found observation, on LIFE! 4 me-

                 Blushy GirlYou KNOW, I used to be a drug addict. There was 'NO,' way out 4 me, at one time. I felt, I was sold, and who the fuck cared?! I, certainly didn't!! I, don't feel that way any longer.

              'I,' HAVE allowed the Magic, to unfold. My EX-husband, is completely PEEVED! One, by one, I am securing the bills, and- actually paying them, in MY name, a name that I feel secure to stand behind! The only thing I MUST pray 4, is, I can't seem to group enough $$ to pay 4 my court fines. THIS, scares me, 4 they can put me back in jail;0 Scared Scared 1. I am making profound progress, yet, that hangs in the hallows, and FREAKS me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

             I have this FRIEND, I deemed, "Lil Bit," and she and I MET , whilst I was incarcerated. Alan, assisted me 4 a week, and then tossed me to the Wolves! 'Lil Bit, {aka Dayna,} shared her all with me, so I wouldn't lose me mind. A year and a 1/2 , later, she completed her stay, and FOUND my #!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We, have been Friends, ever since! She's a LOT younger than I, BUT- she is doing GREAT!  She is inflicted, with the need for the white horse. {heroine} However, she is progressing, with , only ONE relapse!

              When she FIRST , was released, she resided with her Gram. UNfortunately, her Gram fell ill, and , due to her relapse, bid her to leave her home. 'Lil Bit, finally called me, and asked if she could hang here, 'till she secured a ROOM, 4 herself. I asked my girls, what they felt, and they bid her a sound welcome! 'Lil Bit, hooked up, with resound respect, with us, for a week and a 1/2, and provided some succulent hair -doos', as well as R-E-S-P-E-C-T! As a matter of fact, I got her ass into a pool, for the first time in YEARS! She played , wonderfully, with the girls, and conducted herself, wonderfully, the turned BLUE! {it was chilly, that days end .}              Make a long story, a bit shorter, she BUMPED into a LONG-TIME Friend, and he was able to hook her up with a ROOM, she can call her OWN!

               'Lil Bit, has a disability. She was molested, as a YOUNG Girl, often. She took hold of her own, at the age of 15 yrs.old! It is MY feeling, that , due to that recourse, she is , SOMEwhat NUMB, to the act of sexual performance. She , seems to USE it, to git what she needs. Of what I can see, THIS- only provides her with MORE disfunction.Ther is NO WAY, anyone, can find secure progress, if one , just opens their legs??!!!There is NO , sound recompense, just 'cuz one gives up their THANG! NOTHING, substantial, can be embraced, just 'cuz Ya fuck 'em!!!!!!!!!!!

                     She came upon, a Dude, and , upon her meeting, she , actually, FELL 4 him! She took it back, with all the rable rousers, she hung with, and placed her eggs in his basket.SHE, was READY to commit to another soul, hook, line, and sinker! YEP- he was a bit older, but- - - - -MORE wet behind the ears , than she was!

                 As she has moved into HER space, with a FRIEND, that Backs Her UP, she has secued a FULL, time JOB, and has found , another position! 'Lil Bit, has an UNcanny craft, for { fer a white girl:) Raise The Roof 1, to do THE, most profound hair styles, one could DREAM of! She can braid to the HEAD, in fashions, and styles, like one has never seen! The 'Lil stinker, took one of her practice HEADS, and placed upon it, a substatial DOO. 'JUNE,' placed it in his window, of the Barber Shoppe, he OWNS, and had MORE people comment and desire, than one could shake a stick at. However, sir June, seems to find her breasts, DElightfull??! No THIS,as she shared, pissed me OFF, 2 NO END! I, beseeched her, THAT, is NOT your craft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ya wish to find , WHAT , IS important? Keep those legs, CLOSED! As GOD IS MY WITNESS, your actual TALENTS, do NOT reside betwixt Yer thighs!

          " But, Car, he has CLASS, and Money!" she responded. "Then, HAVE faith, and await what you have EARNED, 'IF,' he has so much CLASS- he shall understand, that you could hike his profits UP, by your HAIR talents, not , what lies between your thighs!" "THIS way, you may be able to feel SOUND realization, of your TRUE worth, and gain the respect, that one is "DUE," depening on how they orchesrate  it."

           'Lil Bit, told me, for her ENTIRE life, she has NEVER been normal! She was On Her Own, from 15 yrs., of age! I UNDERSTAND THIS. She posed this to her PO- However, she IS trying! Yep! It, IS scaring the bejapers outta her.She has NOT, been introduced to anything else. But- I WISH to say this, from sincere honesty. She IS, True Blue, and has a resound acceptance of loyalty and promise! She has been SO scarred, and hurt, and her only view on her world, is to hurt , afore they hurt her. I've been there, done that.It sucks ROYALLY!

          As I close for tonight, I ask you to Pray for her, and others you KNOW, are succumb with the same disfunctions, and I KNOW, you Know those i MEAN! wHERE , MORE THAN one , are gathered to announce to OUR LORD, 'HE," Shall bless us with the request we place afront 'HIM." Thank You...





Monday, July 16, 2007

i'M CONFUSED, pEEVED AND gRATEFUL...

I, am in UTTER amasement. LIFE'- is a complete tripp!

         I THOUGHT, I had skrewd up the payment arrangements, with TWO Companies. Come to find out, The LORD, made it O.K.!

              THEN, came Alan, my Daughters Daddy, and he pronounced, that he was getting them "Healies," 4 their B-Day presents?!!  I rejected this with a passion, for I'm NOT in the mood to have to run them to the hospital, every 9 seconds, as well, as, NOWHERE, I know of, permits them!

             I TRIED, calmly, to explain this to him, but , he decided, whilst our Children were on the phone, that their deceased Brother, was conceived from a black man??????! Being the professional drunkard, he neglected to recall, I HAVE pics, of 'Jarrod Leigh Dennis,' before we had to lay him to rest. The photos, inequivically show, 'Jarrod,' was a tiny , caucasion!            He hung up on our daughters, as I went to provide  the photos.

             I am NOT into the practice of consumating with African Americans.

                          Granted, we , are ALL< GODS' Children, however, the scenario, does NOT appease me.

               It's somewhat ODD, that, for one reason of another, MOST lives, that are connected with me, are in SOME, kinda Turmoil??!!!!

       I, am quite exausted, and do not wish to convet, much longer.  I, simply wished to git this on me books' pages, afore I fall DEEP, into sleep. I shall trodd further, tommorrow;)

Sunday, July 8, 2007

It's 2 O'Clock in the morning...

...Who knows where, or WHEN, a writer gets her jiggie on, BUT- mine is NOW!

          I just woke from a dream , that was so volotile, I had to come to the pages of my book!! What's EVEN weirder, is, that one of the Top Stories, listed on the welcome page, IS- " The reason behind, Punctual Dreams!" THIS, was in coloure'!

              Now, afore I begin the dream, I Need to say, that the girls and I , are in a BAD, financial way! I completely KNOW, to trust in GOD, 4 HE, had never left us bereft, afore, and, I do NOT, believe HE will start , now.BUT- being a silly human, and being the soul provider of me Babes, I still worry?!

            In FULL coloure, picture the girls and I as street people. It was winter time, and we had MANY layers of clothes on.We were chilly, Yet- quite at peace, rambling about the streets, trying to locate a warmish place with a television set.During our search, we joined a couple of old friends in the same perdicament.

           We found a tasty  dumpster, and had a meal of a lifetime, as we laughed and chimed about what our shopping tripp would include. I remember, that I had a certain purse , I possess, which doesn't fit a lot, but, I had meticulously arranged all of importance, methodially placed within.However, when we arrived at this VERY, compct store, laided with costumes and beautiful , beaded jewelry, the few extra sense / cents, {lay at the ultimat bottom! {what else is new ;)} Blushy Girl It would appear, Ashley, saw a necklace, she so adored, and I haggled with the woman store owner.She saw our poorness, and fell in Love with Ash, so she gave it to her. Then, she noticed I was freezing, and I was oogling a "PINK lace, floor length gown, with black sequins stiched on , neck and sleeves." I tried it on, and my friend said I looked like the old Carly, and that it WAS me! I suppose I wasn't as cute as my daughter, so the store woman, began to haggle ME! "You can't think you'll get everything for nothing...even though you Need it, you're going to HAVE to get something together 4 it, or Ashley has to give the necklace back as well, before I call security!" I'd have died, before Ash, would go without, so- into my precice packed purse, I dug to the bottom, and presented the woman with all we had. She then hurried us out of her store,{which was fine, 4 it was getting VERY crowded }!

           Next, it would seem that Ash and Megan, went searching for food, with a friend. Another friend and I, went to secure a spot with T.V., for the night! It appeared, to be quite important, we find a location with free access to Television??! We came to find  an abandoned I.V. bottle with the introvenus tube still attached. {no needle on the end;) } I , somehow, figured out how to rigg it , so it hung from a special spot beneath my chin, and I sewed the tude, into the Pink , lace sleeve. My friend and I giggled profusely, as we got , some of the strangest glares from those , whom we passed by. The friend, was Melissa, a.k.a. Ya-Ya!  She claimed, it would be EVEN BETTER, a fashion statement, if she were to hold it. IT WAS! OH!, by the way, I had on pink, hightop converse sneakers, with the heel of the one , flapping with a beat! Black stitching, donned the sides! { just last Saturday night, Ya-Ya and I, saw "Stevie Nicks," and, we had a Magical time! It would appear, it tickled us, to realize many others thought we were lovers. -YEARS ago, we WERE!- Melissa , is strength incarnate.PLUS, adoreable beauty! As we left the concert at it's end, she blatently, grasped my hand, and led me through the rush of , also exiting concert dwellers, the entire way , back to the SUV Cupid. I felt, like the world had begun, again, she gave me a tender kiss, afore she released my hand, and we laughed, whole heartedly, as we DElighted in the onlookers expressions.} as you can see...we ARE exhibitionists, by heart Arrow Head Faint!}

                   Back to the I.V. bottle / dream. As our fun was HAD, I chose to lose the I.V., but, it became clear to me, that, perhaps, I should KEEP the tube??!!!  I , momentarily, decided to place it, on a sleeping man, whom seemed to have future need 4 it.

                When Ya-Ya and I found the place with a set {T.V.} there were three black women, whom had the same desire as us, to be able to watch a certain show, one we ALL deeply needed to see?!! In a moment, a 4th cloured woman, appeared to sit at the very end of the bench. Ya-Ya and I giggled about the I.V. bottle and I glanced at the new edition to the bench. She had a latte', and held her head low, Yet , smirked beneath her jacket collar. Being large around my belly, it took me some effort to reach my BAD leg, which housed the sneaker with the floppy heel. I, finally grabbed it, and realizing I knew the latte' woman, made my voice to sound like 'Jerry Lewis.' "HEY NICE L-A-D-Y!," i SCREECHED, flapping the heel, as if it were the one whom was speaking.  Carla, {I used to work with her, YEARS ago, and just not 2 long ago, came to work with her daughter at Burger King }, and, ALL were laughing, "GIRL ,YOU SHOT OUT!" one of the other African American women said. Just then, me Babes and our friend, shown, and THE show, all were aching for, began!We, ALL huddled together, Ya-Ya, produced a found bucket of POPCORN, from beneath her cape, and we watched..."ONE TREE HILL?"... giggling , and content as could be.

                   This afternoon, my DEAR Jen, permitted the girls , their little friend Abby and I, to swim in her pool.I took the cell phone w/me, and ellected to call my precious 'Ziggie,'she is QUITE my heart, all the way back to boarding school, where we were soul/room mates.I took pics of the girls, and she suggested I take a video of the SPECIAL day of UTTER blessings. I, matter of factly, stated, "Awe, I sold it 4 crack TEARS ago!" She literally burst into laughter. I'm tellin' Yas' it just came out! In reading my book, Ya'll KNOW, I used to do MADD drugs. I haven't touched 'em for YEARS, now, and have NO- desire to regress, so...I just , came out with it Be Shocked  Hello  Bravo  Clapping Hands  Woohoo ...so, you see, it was a kodak statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ya HAD to BE there ;)

            It's 3:17 A.M., and, thank GOD, we have Church in the morn.It , would , probably behoove me, to get some rest. I thank you, for being , so important to me, that I write to US! I couldn't, without you ALL! Peace Be Unto... Pony  Operator 

     





Wednesday, July 4, 2007

The 4TH Of July;)

 Happy HatI don't usually use the coloure RED! BUT, it's the fourth, so kill me if I dip into many coloures I don't usually:) 

         I, have met a wonderful friend, whom, is, also, writing a book / Journal, on AOL. She has presented me, to, share me book, with others, 'cuz I'm STILL, a bit laxed in my knowledge of the KEY BOARD.

         My girls and I, haven't a WHOLE LOTTA money! HOWEVER, we are completely blessed . THE, funny part of it, IS- we live in an area of our town, where, EVERYone , D-O-E-S! It shocks the padiddle outta me, how, we ARE accepted. I have this knack , for landscaping, and I have made the front of our humble home, QUITE nifty:). N-O-W, Since I left the druggie days, behind, ...I am MOST DElighted, that OTHER parental units, are , quite fine, with having their Children, spend time at our house!

             Ya see, Marilyn, NEVER had time for my little friends ,to come over. I, SWORE- I'd never be like that!! When the Children come, we PLAY, have mudd fights, abuse POPCORN, ETC>! You see, OUR sheets, CAN be washed, and I place the ones we aren't using , at the time, on the floor, to protect our carpet, THEN- - - -JUST WASH 'EM! THAT way, all can have a bit of fun, and my landlord won't blast us;) Besides, THIS, is our Castle. YET- it doesn't have to be nil of F-U-N!

          BACK , to the well , financial endowed. Accross the street, lives a family. NOW, we have been HERE, aproximately 5 years.  Since our arrival, I have witnessed, that, between The Philips, and THE Sandones', there exists a rival, of WHOM, can set off the MOST fireworks! When I first came here, I felt compelled, to provide the pittance of display, so my girls didn't feel like pittance! SKREW- There is NO WAY- I'm EVER gonna , EVEN match the display! HOWEVER,  since my DEAR, friend, asked my help, this morning, and I stated, I'm going to use some "bill," $$ , and grab some works, she asked, "WHY?" "Ya gott the WHOLE neighborhood, OFF, so why spend $$, when Ya don't NEED 2?"         She made GOOD sense!- - - - - - - I HOPE, the Sandons', don't realise, THE 1, whom OWES them $464.32, lives down Da street. Blushy 2 Well, at least, we avoid their lawn!BESIDES, I do NOT dig, on walking on grass, WITH shoes! itbugsme-

          "Simon and Garfunkle," "Hazy Shade of Winter!" The tune , changed. I had a Child, crying her eyes out, earlier , today. She was , DESPERATELY, attempting to git in touch with her astranged Daddy! He didn't ANSWER!   After the bars, ran drier, he decided to call back. OF COURSE- he had a tale! I, allowed him to have it. He , STILL, speaks of his need for medication/ETC., and says he HAS to provide 4 himself, OR- he'd be more helpfull! I, asked him,"IS- there ANYthing WE, can do 2 help?" His response was nothing ANYONE, in a bathroom, would wish to hear!

             The wierd THING, IS- "I," am going through the same metaphisical infirmaties! I, just haven't said anything, NOR- do I require a sob station! I, am ALMOST, sure, that he is using MY infirmaties, as his own?! He stated, "I HAVE, ALL new, furniture!"  "That's WAY cool!" personally, "I," am trying to get new school clothes , for OUR Children!" {isaidnothinglike,what I felt!} He's GOOD,like THAT. Besides, I'm WAY, 2 Honest, with him! The son-of-a-buiscuit, has my heart, HOOK, LINE AND SINKER!  NO, matter, what he has done to us...I , always , break down, and offer tender mercies??!

             When the Children and I, observed the "Bombs Bursting in Air," we , also, got to notice, an alter object, "GLOWING," as it passed it's way through  the SKY! Many people, made a sound BET, that- "Give it a few, IT'S gonna EXPLODE!" IT- didn't! I, suggested, we "WISH," upon it, and, we DID! As it continued , beyond , Our eye-sight, THE WISH, WILL, come TRUE! will YOURS"?

              JUST, 'cuz Ya didn't SEE it, doesn't MEAN, we didn't take YOURS, with OURS!





Monday, July 2, 2007

Beauty and the BEAST-

Such an orgasmic evening! I , was blessed to be able to view "Stevie Nicks," last Saturday night. I was able to go with a delightful FRIEND, and , we were surrounded by other recipients of the show, whom, DIDN'T succumb to imbosilic drunkeness/drugs!

             Stevie, sang like an Angel! She has lost , an incredible amount of weight, { it would seem, emotional, as well as, physical. } Whilst in the parking lot, we were able to position ourselves, close to a younger woman and her family, whom , presented Stevie, with a LIVE, white Dove! I was blessed to be able to pet the bird, afore we , all, went in.During this time, my friend and I, savored the time to speak of EVERYTHING, under the sun, that we had missed , for quite , some time! Did we get ALL FUCKED UP? Nope! We conducted ourselves, in a resound manor, and departed for the destination, within the realm of WAYCOOLNESS!

              I have been to a few concerts. MOST of 'em, have been wrapped in midst of those , extracted from the stupid sauce.  However, this congregation, was JUST- THE opposite! The aquired visitors, were NOT interrested in foolishness! We, were ALL, there to revel in her music, and ALL, orchesrtated themselves, with JOY-Awareness of properness, and F-U-N! 

             The Eve, afore, held the band called 'RUSH." A resound group, whom I dig...but, held an opposite realm of visitors.  I, can only imagine, the cascade of recipiants. It, actually, made me giggle! For, the stadium controll, seemed to be loaded 4 BEAR! Yet- this evening, was in NO need of the same amo! I , witnessed the attentives, actually , smiling, as it went off with a subtle progression;) AND- ended the same way!!

              NOW, with all gratitude, that i can carry...I am profoundly aware, of what I USED to find delicious, in the PAST. Yet, I am now, delightfully pleased, with what tripps me triggers ,today. 'Tis, SOooo , much different.I believe, one, somewhere, said," it's NOT what Ya do- BUT, how one DOES it!" Holy cow, am I begining to SEE- what the soul meant!

             As I resided in the masterpiece, I was able to view, I called my daughters, around 14 times. As , 'Stevie,' sang, my heart floated, and I chose to dial my husbands phone #, as well. I, simply , wished to share the solace, joy, and rapture , I felt. He was as miserable, as usual, and decided to unleash  the fact that he was incredibly sickly. "Don't worry, you and the girls are covered by my life Ins.!" The next night, I called him back, and wished him home, so that his FAMILY, could care 4 him. Of COURSE, he turned the offer, DOWN, with a barrage' of unneccessary adjectives. No prob! The funny thing, IS- I am not doing well, medically, meself! I allerted him, NOT!I, shall continue, to pray for him!!

             He decided to tell our Girls, that due to his up-coming demise, that, we shall have to take his kitties. We have our OWN kitties! And, our Landlord, will NOT be pleased , if I turn into the cat woman!!

                The wierd part, IS, the girls felt sadness, {fer a sec,} and , then, went about their lives.Even as he broke into tears, he MUST have known, that, his rants, are falling on deaf ears. There , IS- only so much, that , even a short person, can stomache! It's a LOUD reality. Yet- after,when, the same shit, happens, over-and over again, it becomes like a hard booger, stuck in ones' nostrile.I think he has found, that his chime has been ceased. At this point, one , need only to loosen it , and , then-'FLICK!' A sad reality, especially , for the booger that tries to keep singin' the plop!

            He says, that if he has enough sustananance to walk, he shall be bringing fireworks, tomorrow evening, for the Children. Assholian, that I can crumble to, said, "Babe, I'll pay for a cab." "Keep yer mouth shut!, I'll get there if I have enough strength."     "What ever you say,Dear."

            PLEASE, do not misconstrude me. I, am NOT, your precious one! I, have MUCH , to learn, master, ETC>! I, simply, observe, where I was, and where I am heading, {or wish to!} I am capeable, of deciphering, the difference. JUST because, I am a bit ill, doesn't mean, I get to crawl up the cross, and attempt to make a home."I," have, { thank goodness } realised, THE Lord, has a plan! As long, as I do me BEST , I can...'HE,' will orchestrate the outcome! I, just , MUST try, the best I can.

            The Indians, ONLY, take what they need, and even in neccessity, ONLY, when it gives something BACK! I BOW, to that type of realization.Alan, most always said, "just toss it, we'll get a new one!" I, don't feel that way. "One persons' trash, is anothers' treasure!" Personally, I get off, doing me best, to fix it, OR- use the pieces to orchestrate another something. Thank YOU-