...for, for about a week now,I have gotten NO SLEEP. I woke at 2:48 A.M., and JUST couldn't return to sleep. I arose and began to sip some wine, and play with the computer. As I did, I felt this strange feeling , come over me, pressing me to shut it down. At the moment, I decided NOT to, I coughed, and exploded from the inside. VERY SCAREY! The feeling was SO, strong, I could do nothing else, but to pray for protection, as I climbed , back into bed.
THIS, I Believe, was The Lords' Will, for HE provided me with a dream, which shook my inner being.For, as my computer was loading, I chose to read, this days "Upper Room." Todays entry, is entitled, "Smoke Damage."
It read, THIS-"From the same mouth come blessings and cursings. My brothers and sisters, this ought NOT be so."
{ I have allowed myself to speak quite harshly to my daughters, lately, CLAIMING, I'm under much pressures. }
Rebecca McCarthur, has her own story, however, GOD USED IT, to send me a much needed message.I Swear to GOD!
"Last year our home caught fire. The fire itself was small but the damage done to the entire house from the black smoke was great. SOOT, went into every crack and crevice, and the smell, was terrible. It took more than THREE months for a restoration crew to complete the cleaning process, and we have all developed a healthy respect for something as seemingly wispy as smoke.
{ Some of the dreams, I have had, lately, trace back to my drug days. I , TOO often, drink the wine, saying, "I'm 43 years old, and all the drug usage is gone, so I'm cool }
"At the same time, a close friend, a pastor, was facing a similar experience in her Church. A "fire" started when our friend disagreed with a powerful member over changes she felt the Church needed to make in order to stay alive. The Church member created dissention in the congreation by whispering , complaining, and twisting truths- enough , that our friend was forced to leave the pulpit and the people she loved so deeply. The damage to her , her family, left no part of their emotional, spiritual, physical,and financial lives untouched. Like the small fire, it permiated everything, even the congregation.
The Bible warns us over and over to be careful with our motives and with what we have to say to and about others, INCLUDING OURSELVES. "The tongue is a fire," James writes, and the damage it can create is costly for all concerned."
I am ashamed, at , during a push of impatience, frustration, perhaps anger or exhaustion, I , have bitten my daughters heads off. And, to add insult to injury, I continue to smoke cigarrettes, and partake of wine. I claim, as I've stated, however, I am getting sick over it. I have made a promise to GOD, to get myself to a Doctor, for a frind seny me a send, about Ovarion Cancer, and I have all the symptoms, they revealed to us! GOD, has shown me, I'd had better wake up, with a quikness, lest my family and friends , be mortaly effected, but my lies, of, "I Quit Everythin Else, One Deserves One Crutch!?" I shall keep you informed of my progress. I, shall begin with me tongue:)-
And, NOT a soul on Earth, can convince me , otherwise, these messages, came Straight from HIM! HE, shook my molecular being. "Whoa!" OH- by the way, from a Bad car accident, I have lost my sense of smell. When I awoke from the dream, and , STILL, a bit, can smell an Aweful odor, I can only say, reminds me of death. The people in my dream, supposid friends, at a drinking party, kept moving my brand ofwine, leaving me , only to TRY to snag theirs. The embarrassment, from their catching me, was UNspeakable.
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