Monday, March 5, 2007

HeartBreaker, at 4:23 A.M.

Yes, it's 4:30 A.M., and I was JUST awoken, by the worst dream, I have had in , I can't remember when!!

            I, HAD- to run to thse pages, and release!

                   It began, as my children and I, { the cherubs were NONE that I have ever seen  }. I was hangin' out with "Niles and Frazier." More of the characters, were, "Aunt Tracy, MJ, a horrible woman I met in jail, and it took place in the "Magic Room," the attic of our old house.

             It began, as we were all attempting to assemble a party. Niles, said he could score "Valium, " for the children, and a HUGE bong, for the smoking of some premium cocaine. I was aware, that the "V's," had arrived, and asked Niles, if I could grab one, to go with me beer. He insisted, they were for the minors! "Well, I simply wish to catch a buzz, and I'm incapeable, of financing for the "blow!"

                "I told Ya, Carly, it's for the kids, and ALL you owe for the rock, is $19.00.  I had my Last $20.00. Of course, I gave it to him, and found myself, placing a king- sized rock, upon the Bong.I recall, having problems, with operating the lighter, YET- I managed, only to fill my lungs with my ALL TIME loathesome smoke.

           NOW- when one is in the midst of others, when one releases the smoke, one shares, by blowing it into another person- MJ:( , whom, I might add, expected me to git funky with her, as soon as the buzz was complete.

         I threw the bong at the floor, of our once loved "Magic Room, and got immediately sick, and disgusted! I, ran to find Aunt Tracy, whom was in rapture with Frazier, for they 2, had smoked the devils crap!

       I found myself, experiencing a supposid heart faliure, and WOKE UP, with a disgusting pounding in my chest. I partook of a few puffs of a cigarrette, and tried to go back to sleep! NOTHING HAPPENING! SO- I took my place, at the computer, to get this horrible nightMare, outta my head!!

         I tell you- I SHOOK! My pulse was racing, and I was LITERALLY disgusted with myself!!I, thank GOD- this was ONLY a dream, and- ASSURE you, I have NO desire to trod that deadly path , again!! I also, thank you, for being there, for , since I have shared my trauma, I , Completely realise, it was only a dream, and I pray, NEVER to have another!

           For ANY, whom entertain the thoughts of toying with this shit...DO NOT!      Allow me to give you an example!    YEARS ago, I used to inject cocaine, into my veins! My son, was FOUR months old, and I went to a house , to cop the requirements. They would not permitt me to take the "spike," with me, so , I elected to keep him in his car seat, turned him around, and applied the drug. NOW- ANYone, whom has EVER injected cocaine, KNOWS- ONCE you administer that first application...there IS, NO Stopping, untill your stash is depleated! DRUGS, A-R-E, the devils arena! They snatch your priorities, fog in your senses and knowledge of what is REMOTELY proper, and they will cause you, to devistate ALL and EVERYTHING/ONE, whom you , Normally, would hold Dearest! It IS, the same for IRRESPONSIBLE drinking! My son, may or may not, have seen me administer, THAT DAY...However, the booze, got him two months later, when, I elected to drive with him, in the car, AFTER, I became polluted, from beer and what ever, to drink. Today, he is STILL paralized, and I have been informed, that, WE ARE JUST WAITING for his life to end, and the cusp of age 17! Due to the paralysis, his lungs can ONLY expand 1/2 way, he's on Oxygen 24/7, and if we allow him to lay , FLAT- he will CEASE to exist, within 10 minutes.

           Perhaps, due to this new information, is what ignighted this Horrible dream/REALIZATION, within me?! There, is NOTHING, I can do , NOW! Yet- there IS, something you can do! Please, don't get sucked in!!!!!!!! NOT EVEN, if , your life/ peers, promise you a sensation of nirvana, and, that , "Everyone does it," so- " If you're cool, or one of 'us,' you'll chime in on the fun. " In JESUS NAME, just R-U-N!             Thank you...

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