Thursday, June 8, 2006

I'm Home...

                        It's been a few moments, since I've writen. THIS, would be, due to the fact, that "School's Out 4 The Summer." This poese a, whole, new regime of practices. It's WAY cool, though, 4  -I 've , never before, been remotely readied to apply myself, this way! "I," had better things to do?! NOT today:)- I am locating more JOY and PRIDE, in being there, for my children AND myself!

          Last night, as well as, tonight, I am being trusted, with another single Mothers' children, over night, and, they are THE, most delightful cherubs!! Back in the day, I could NOT be trusted, with myself, let alone, someones' children. I am earning this, no matter what. Yeppers- Alan is providing child support, for the moment, but----THAT'S IT! He is MORE concerned with Nascar and the bar scene, rather than placing ANY emphasis, on the blessings of Children??!! He does NOTHING for them, or me.No matter, how we beg for his REconnection to a family, he may call his own.......we have nothing he wishes.

        This is begining to be fine.{"F"-ed Up. insecure, neurotic and Emotional ] The DANDY Fact, is, that, the longer he stays away, the stronger we become. THIS, inescapeable fact, cannot escape his awareness.  YES!- I despise his weakness and the fact that he is a sorrid jerk, whom finds the performance of his manhood, and WHO can idolise it, MORE of a thrill, than observing the Beauty of his families treasure. Allow me to be more precise. I, STILL, get his mail, which encompenses his collection of "smut" films, which of course, I trash. I asked him, "Wouldn't you be more satisfied, with a woman , whom wishes to care for you, betwixt yer legs, rather than Yer hand?" He informed me, "My hand, doesn't piss me off, NOR cost me , as much money."WELL- , I asked, " How's about, when yer HAND, keeps spilling shit down Yer throat?" "F", you, bitch.

         I , had to go away , for  four months, one time. When I returned, I found, in our Childrens bedroom closet- - smut mags- - that wouldn't make me moist, if my LIFE depended upon it! He told me," I work , every day, like a dog!" " What the - - - - do you want?" "A different job?" Oh, like THAT made him consider, anything. One can pray, can they NOT?!

         Fact of the matter, IS, Yep- I do NOT resemble, "Pamela Anderson," BUT- I am a tubular person, and , well, I ain't , too bad looking! I'd give me heart, to find a companion, whom I could , simply , cuddle up with, and share the trials and tribulations of life, with, right by their side/?!! I, don't go to bars, and , well, since I'm a single parental unit, I don't have that many occasions, which to meet people, for I spend my time with me Babes! Now, I've prayed for a whole lot of blessings. I, choose , NOT to bug on GOD, for a companion, at least, I didn't USED to! I am , now. Darn it!, I have a whole , lot of love , to offer, and I have, ONLY, me teddy bear, whom id getting tired of me groping her, which I can hold, whilst I sleep. SOMETHING  HAS GONE A FOWL IN THE TOMATOE! I have a libido , like, a mosquito, and , LOVE to match me desires! I have a wonerful cat! I'm  weirding him out. {DON'T- EVEN go there! ] He ,simply, feels bad, for me. Besides, I brush him, like nobodies git go, and THAT'S it! He's NOT complaining. When Alan, dropped off the Child support, and Scamper paid attention to me, Alan, stated, "He, USED to me my cat!"  NOT- in THIS life!

           Bottom line, for a sec, I chose to get on the pity pot. I, just don't have the time, nor than , do I have the need, to "BEEF!" I , use to think, I was just a plop. I'm NOT! I have me quirks, BUT- I , also, have me qualities! Some of 'em, ain't 1/2 bad!  Please- HAVE a GREAT day!

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