Sunday, June 25, 2006

Things go better with cream cheese...

... but they can usually be sedated by a few pieces of chocolate cake!

                    This is NOT, one of my usual loggs! I am wrestling my Dads' demise. I went to see him, against his wishes! "I," needed to hold his hand, and plaster him with kisses. [I made sure to wear lipstick! ] I told him, if Ya get scared, reach up and rub the love filled emoliants! He looked , like shit! When I walked in, his eyes were open, but- rolled back into his melon. I, thought, "OH GOD!"......but, he opened his eyes, whence I placed a battery operated puppy, on his chest, that called him into awareness. He told me he loved her, BUT- I had to take her home, for he couldn't care for her! I said, "Daddy, she needs no care, but only exists to give love."  "Everyone, NEEDS a good walk," he said, PLEASE , take her home with you!        i did.

           It's REAL, when one "SAYS," "do NOT come to see me! ""THAT," is when you get yer ass THERE! A DEAR friend, sealed my realization of this, and I am Enamored, that my selfish , human state, did NOT get in the way of me going! When he actually saw me, I , witnessed the elaborate JOY, in his eyes! As i held his frail hand, in mine, I could feel the pulsation of L-O-V-E, that beat from within! Yep!, he was a bit embarrassed by his composiure. BUT, it was MORE important, that his daughter, feeling the BURNING desire to be next to him, aside , and beyond his verbal resound , to stay away! FUCK words! This one, uses her HEART, to listen! I, believe , this is the reason, that I get along, so well, with wild animals. THEY, know me, for they can feel me, and  my inner soul. Does this NOT, be where all stems from? Skrew the shallow outer shell!!!!!!!!!! A shell, cannot continue, without a beating heart, from within!

            Last night, after all, I decided to go OUT! I required a hug from , my husband??! SO- I traveled down to the bar, where he resides , above. He wasn't there. Still, I railed the fortune on the pool table, and bought a few rounds , for asscociates, I have met afore, got "slammed drunk," and haven't the faintest idea, how I got home, Talk about "FOOTPRINTS!" The LORD, walked with me, with me, in his arms! NOPE!- This isn't a great way to handle ones goings on, but- I am Greatful! It appears, that , after returning home, [ my daughters spent the night  at their trusted friends house:) ] I attempted to order PIZZA, from , Dominoes', and the message machine, told me that, after I awoke with me boots ON, I had MISSED the delivery! Oh well, I'm spreading like Skippy, anyhoos!

          NOT, that it should,but- it still amazes me, how, soul felt companions, seem to FEEL- when a soul is in peril! I have been blessed with calls and sends, from THE most precious others of my life! AND- it seems to STILL, hold true, that in the throngs of deep, dire straights, one finds, WHOM are, ones TRUE soul mates! Find me madd? Piss on Ya! You , cannot run from sound FACT! I used to think , that, I had the kindred soul friends of LIFE?! BULLSHIT! When push comes to shove, and a bit of painful experience, sets in, one , FINALY, realizes, how stupid, they were , to  believe THAT! Nope!- I didn't say, it doesn't hurt! It hurts like hell! BUT- one must make the equasion REAL, and decipher, where the efforts MUST be made......and, where they are waisted! Fer real, for real, I'm sick and fuckin' tired, of making all these lame, excuses, for others, whom, I WISH, would embellish my world/ emotions! I KNOW me, and why must I continue, to desecrate my own existance, for ANYTHING less , than I am worthy of? For example, "Elton," this mutha has to get his feet back on the ground, and I realise that/this, BUT- do NOT sell ME short, by NOT , at least, calling, every chance he gets! "IF," you've NOT got the gumption, kiss my ass! I am a worth while soul, whom deserves "Tender LOVING thought!" AND, when and IF, he choses to call/stop by, I intend to display that REALITY to him! Everyone , has a bit of sumpthin', something, they are going through! BUT- ALL, must prevail to the sound fact, that , life ain't a joke! AND- neither are the others, whom wish to share it with you!

              I, am STILL, learning , that, we are , ALL, Special, if we allow ourselves to be! Take my cat, for example. He is , almost 14  years old. He, Scamper, is a resoundly , solo, to himself, beast. YET- he wouldn't be 14, if I didn't shove Da love at him! Fleas and all, he is my FRIEND.Besides,nobody said, LOVE was gonna be an easy flight.The more love I plaster him with, the MORE love, he expects and cherishes! THIS, is what I wish to convey.  It reigns true, to ALL we hold , hopefully, dear to our psychy! Just a tid bit, to nibble upon. Peace Be Unto...

No comments: