All the twix, that make me tick...

It's gonna be rough, at first! There will be times, when , even "i" don't realise what I am saying. But- I guarantee you this, wear your seat belts, cuz it WILL be a tripp.I have people tell me that I have a knack , for writitng. Perhaps I do, for I seem to hold an aweful lot of pent up emotions/thoughts, in this medium sized body of mine.I shall not be punctuating , properly, for I have only a limited space to fill, so write yer congressman, if you become overly irked:)Besides getting the hang of this site.....I haven't got the whole "pewter"thang down?! Talk about playing by ear.However, I've noticed, they provide a "spell check."WHOA! I have two , beautiful girls, and we are begining an incredible journey. Allow me to be , more precise. I skrewed up, and was made to separate from them, for, four L-O-N-G months. Upon my return, I arrived to entities, I hardly knew?! I was forced to leave them with their hard working/drinking dad, and, as the days progressed, I found that he placed them in his own disfunctional saga. NEEDLESS to say, they are at odds, of which way to fly, and why.I have taken the loving steps, of launching , within our lives, a program, entitled, "Youth Advocacy."In the three , short weeks, they have been guiding us, LITTLE by little, we Are making glorious progress, with Hopes and Dreams, possible.Rome, wasn't built in a day, but , with loving patience and a WHOLE lotta tears, [mine mostly]we WILL survive miraculousely.The whole thing , brings me WAY back, to earlier days of existance, including, other children, and people of SUCH importance!Please, Pardon me, if , at times, I let go with a few staggering curse words, but this ain't no cake walk for me, yet , "IT" is mine and I ache to touch base with it.Now, don't get me wrong, I have earned phenominal praises, THESE days...but there ARE  people , whom would DElight , in WATCHING me suffer a devistating demise!Funny part of it, is, NONE of those, whom I've touched, can go without an honest giggle! TRULY, I am a character!And I've pulled some stunts that NONE can, nor wish, to forget:)My POOR father!My family, bought me!I am told, I AM, my fathers' daughter. My mother, I've only seen a photo of , with her name cut off. It was sent to me, in my 11th Birthday card, whilst I resided at a Boarding school, located in Mendham N.J.! Marilyn/aka mom, was peeved at me. YEP, I got put into "NO HOLDS BARRED," at the age of 11:) I thought, I was the "cherries jubilee." I acted that was, as well.I allowed myself to smoke pot, and get drunk, as cigarretes, early in the A.M., gave a pleasant rush, when one shakes their head back and forth.Are Ya FEELIN' me?Too much, TOO soon, IF, Ya ask me. But , I wouldn't admit it to you!Now, the next extravaganza, was to be shipped to Europe, with the school, for my summer break?!VERY few, shaved! BUT- the usage age was NIL! YippieKaiYaiYeah!I, today, am shocked, that I didn't pose nude , for an artist.After graduation from La-La Land, I juggled a few more out of the way schools!After a sound excursion with 4 way windowpane LSD, I was expelled.The "Thang," of the school, was Veritas, which is Latin, for TRUTH!I got honest, I got OUT!WHERE, to ship her , now????Praise be, my Blessed cousin, Gail, whom I choose to feel IS the only Mother, I ever had, reached out and nestled me, ---BEST she could.However, truth be told, HOW, could ANYone, leash a flame, that had been LIT, and then left to simmer, UNtouched, for so long?THIS, blessing, began a rampaid of UNgrateful anticts and a path of profound destruction.Mother/Cousin Gail, is a beautiful lesbian. This, I have NO quamms about, for I,myself, am a proud and loving [picky] bi-sexual.I find the art of two,INlove women, together, a "Rembrandt," in the making!The gentle cascade of caressing attention, ignites my molecular being!TOO, many times, I have witnessed hetrosexual happenings, to be "WHAM BANG,FUCK YOU MAME."During my sellect,hetro escapades, PERSONALLY, most of 'em could give a rats' ass, about the melodic foreplay, that paints a tapestry of loving , harmoniuos ART!That is just my opinion, everyone has an earlobe , too.My computer, is signaling , that I am coming to the end of my allotted space.I, can only pray, that I am allowed to carry forth, without, the skip of my beat.Forgive me, if it cuts me shorter than I am now.Especially, since me travels , through California, at Gails', has SO much more to be shared!UNfortunately, I must, honestly report of my shennanigans, that left my Mother, at her wits END!GAil, provided me with a loving, YET, rule required atmosphere.Foolishly, I trampled on, THE best opportunity I had ever been privy to.One night, I had a friend, Andrea, stay over, and we chose to drop ACID. All, WAS-going smoothly, UNTILL, my brain had control access to the radio stations and electricity. I mentally , melted the freezer side of the two doored fridge, and found , myself stuck in the shower, withOUT use of the COLDwater.Needless to say, I freaked the daylights, out of Andrea, and awoke in the middle of my bed, Naked, and in the fetal possition?!Perhaps, Andrea and I had TOO much fun?! Lest, I moved to "Whittier,Calif.," with "Kia Starchild," my boyfriend, I had met on Hollywood Blvd. We, shacked up in a sorority house, with his cat, "Bunches."BLOW MY ASS OUTTA JOINT, I continued school, in L.A., whilst, at night, we'd throw these parties where this Dude, on L-O-A-D-S, rode his motorcycle, up the stairs[loads, are like morophine,dilauded, and codine.]and undergarments hung from every protruding apascratice , available in the house!I awoke, that next morn, to descend the stairs for school, ON:LY to find me Dad! He looked around---SHOCKED, yet, with professional composiure, took me to lunch and , THEN, installed a payphone, to be able to have contact with me??!He hugged me, and departed , back to Scranton, Pa.!Let's get honest, I don't require any more LSD. my family is a tripp, all by itself!Now, I'll have to hope, you don't mind me hopscotchin' about, but, as you can clearly see, I was a bit clouded, from time to time:).So, forgive me, if points escape me, and I back travel.I'd , also, like to take this opportunity, to beg that you keep your conclusions of me as a whole, untill you've finished.{JUST a thought:)}As I resided with Mr. Starchild, and an array of others , whom are/were, AS coloureful as Imy lifestyle, only aided my confusion and self destruction! Did I mention, I was 14 years of age?Maybe 13, only God , knows fer sure!YeaH, I was introduced to a man named Eddie! He was originally , from "Flushing, N.Y.!" He drove a "Challenger," that had FEET, for peddles! The sterio system SHOULD, have made me sterile,BUT...The Glamore', I felt, pulling up to school, "Mid City Alternative School," at my age, was MORE than I could have EVER  handled! Especially, since we had been intimate, Right under Kias' nose/! oops!The bouts with LSD, had shown me things, that, at a regular pace, I'd have not took the time to consider.Alas, KIA, sleeked away, somewhere, somehow, and I was left in a different room, with this NEW roommate.All was sparkling, fer a few.Lest, I grew bored, and met a woman on Hollywood Blvd., whom scooped me up and :(, due to my Poppy's departure fund, cuddled me into an apartment ON, 'Hollywod Blvd."! Her name was Cyndi, and she was a student in a beautician emporium. "FUCKIN'A," I had a bed, in MY room, with a white, mombasa netting over it, and, UPSTAIRS, I was introduced to a dude named Ron, whos' dad was the head of the pharmeceudical dept.,and had the biggest cultivations of "coke," I'd ever imagine possible!O.K., LSD/pot/beer, THAT was me ONLY triumphant dabbles, in the drug world! BUT- this Coke, holy God!!!!!! They taught me how to cook it, into rock form,and smoke it , through these , almost religious tubes and bongs, with a ceremonial preparation, one could not fathom at the age of 14!The supply, could/would , not end! However, all things must come to a hault, and we ran short, after a night of many participants. WHOOIE!, did I mention , Ron had an exotic parrot? he did. And , when the fuel ran away, those , whom tried it, KNOW-one looks for escape rocks, which may have gotten away. I FOUND A DELICIOUS ONE! or so i thought! I placed it on the toole, and LIT up.------"PARROT SHIT!"                Did that stop me? nope.  To make a long storie, slightly shorter, During, my cascades through "Hollywood," and all I trampled , during it, "Rosanna Arquette," showed me what the Bar scene was , and I decided to shave the right side of me head and get Really into costumes!!!like an idol trott through "PUNK ROCK!"I , related to their themes, like non else!I, was 14, and I was the shit! or so i thought.Fact of the matter, is, I claimed Hollywood, an my life, like I was THE movie. I, was INdestructable! ""UNTILL""", the night I smoked up with a new set of partakers! When, the stash ran lowER, this dude, fantsized about a calculated scam of pure robbery. "STEAL?" Fuck that! They chained me to a bed, and continued their festivities.THANK GOD-The mans' woman, felt bad for me, and stole the key to the handcuffs, after he passed out, from the lack OF, and kissed my forehead and said, "GO!"I got home, quickly, and called my Dad, to BEG, to come home with my cat.I resigned my mombassa netting, and got home!A wee bit of pause here. This tale is NOT a farce! This, fuckin' shit is true!At THIS, point of my life, I COMPLETELY, realise how GOD watched over me. Can ANYone, beg to differ???????? Looks to me, like the computer, has got a grab of attentiveness to this story, TOO, for I should have been cast OUT, a bit ago!By the knowledge, that I AM, the one , whom is composing this ellaborate tale, I have a strange notion, you will continue to partake of this amazing reality.Fact of the matter , IS, when asshole, here, got home, it ALL becomes even, MORE twisted!By the way. IF, you think this is comfortable to FACE, lest alone , to print, "THINK AGAIN!"[i kinda borrowed that from,"Law and Order," CSI] Yo!, I gotta be addicted to something. However, I MUCH , More, relish the tunage , that is available, rather than the sitcom bullSHIT, Some, Poor souls, find humerous.  At this point, I thank you! As well as, to break fer a few, for I FULLY, intnd to go snuggle my daughters , I DOING right!To be Quite honest, I am NOT, trying to match myself with ANYone!Who the fuck cares?Lest, as you approach the end of this magnanomous tale, "HOPEFULLY,"someone, Somewhere, will find a nitch, and earn the knowledge, that, it doesn't begin/nor END, with me, or you.I spent WAY , TOO much -waisted excursions and efforts ----on what?It IS, a miracle, that I am with you, today!Instead of saying, "sorry," for your sake, begin that way..........however, I have found, that it is referred to, as humility! Just some cool shit to ponder! Wait untill you read what I did, next...