An Automic Bomb! YES, the fuck I am!
I, am at a LOSS of reality. I am QUITE aware of my efforts. THEY, are , pretty , darn good!! However, they have NO realm of allowing me to understand , LIFE! As soon as I THINK- I am getting , SOMEwhere, I become confounded, AGAIN??!!
I have so many beautitudes, and, yet, I fall shorter than I actually am, AGAIN?? Now, I realise, life, ain't no ON-going picnic!! Yet, these drop ins, of mezmirizing shit, REALLY needs to stop! Here I am, trying to do me BEST- then, ANOTHER bomb drops?!!
My friend, Anna, says, that , I am suppose to focus on the LORD, for EVERYTHING. I , believe I am doing that. The next thing , I get a squirt of, IS, I skrewed everything up??. What the "BLEEP," do I do next?
I have paid wonderous attention, to my girls, my yard, my friends, WHOM, seems to be all I have left. ALLOW me to be, MORE specific. ELTON, my sons' Daddy, has been IN and OUT of prison, due to his addiction to heroine! I, TRIED, to be a "NO STRINGS ATTACHED , Friend, and handed him some money. THAT- was the LAST time I heard/seen of him:(.
I, was ONLY , trying to HELP, as he got , back on his feet! NEVER, did I , ONCE, think I was handing him, a "STILL", Smoking gun. Yeah- coulda/woulda, I, simply , placed TOO much emphasis on his mind, being where mine , TIS! Ya'll, KNOW- I did the drugs of life!! IT, is ONLY, by the Grace of GOD/Loved Ones, I have NOT fallen, into the realm of DEALING with lifes; stuff, in order to escape, the drug enduced way, THAT is.
NOW, HERE- is my rant!! I, find the WHOLE, Judicial System, to be, A fucking BAD JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here, you have a Decent person, JUST, getting outta prison...and , with NO funds/family/Actual , caring support, and ya THROW the person to the WOLVES?!! SKREW jamming foolish , meetings/groups, down the persons throat!! Where did ONE, on ONE, escape to?. The DISgusting part of it, as I seem to be able to observe, IS- it's ALL about the fucking money! EACH, and EVERY person, whom is incarcerated, brings IN, approximately, 1.000.00 dollars, per DAY!
Awe, I FEEL Yas, she doesn't know Jack Shit! BALDERDASH- I've BEEN there, and back! I, only DYE me hair- THIS, IS, The truth! I, have observed, TOO, many, get CAUGHT, IN, the revolving door!!!!!!!! "Hey Bay, Ya miss me?" NOT THAT FUCKING MUCH!" Stay the BLEEP, Home!
However, Too, many, don't know how to! They, have become, what is called, "Institutionalised! It, GETS to the point, where the individual, knows NO, Other way, but to be clothed/fed/housed/excercised! IF- you release a soul, of THAT sort, into the population of , ACTUAL Life, what the fuck, do expect?? You, don't give a fuck!!!!!!!! SO- why should the inmate?
Once in a while, PLEASE- give a person, a CHANCE! STAND, next to them.
OH!- I'm sorry, you don't git PAID, for that! I'd , ADORE, to witness, "IF," the shoe, was ON, the other foot. Hear me NOW- I'd give you, a chance, I'd hold your hand/give you food/STAND- next to you!
I- do NOT, have Much. Yet, I have compassion, I, Have knowledge, I- Have experience...,I, HAVE Built a SOUND Tiny, Castle!!!!!!! Ya , WISH, to do something, of Grand Stature, use your heart! I don't give a fig-Neuton, how many CREDIT cards, you are PERMITTED to carry!!!!!!!! YET- I WILL, continue to HOPE, you , WILL, UNDERSTAND, what I AM, attempting to convey to you. For REAL/ fer real, it's YOU, that HAS to observe your reflection in your OWN mirror.I ,DO NOT, wish to observe HOW- you'd allow it , to effect Ya! Shit- I don't even pay for BAD, movies, WHY- the fuck, should I PAY, to watch you, DESTROY, another, for your bank account??!!!