Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I think, therefore, I AM!

Candles, are quite illuminating.I, choose to orchestrate them about, when err I can.It provides me with a sentual , effravescent.

           I, am completely aware, that , I usualy , am drawn to my pages, when the poop hits the fan. However- there have been QUITE a few entries, where I have been LOADED with joys, gratitudes and gleams! I have learned/ AM learing, that , there IS, Yin/Yang! One, cannot have one , without the other.

                NOW- lets git honest. I've made , MANY a bone head move/ sustinence, in my life. Yet, these days, play a Complete turn around, and it KEEPS turning. There are times, I'm not , quite sure , who the fuck I am! I spent YEARS!, fighting , tooth and nail, against EVERYTHING! WHATTHEPLUCK, these days, I am cooking life, on "simmer." I am finding, the BEST flavors , come from that type of sautee'.

         Pardon, but I wish to present an asimilie. My job! Lemme tell Ya'll , something...I friggin' detested any kind of Work/Responsibility/succession. It, gave me a head ache! Now, granted, I don't dig it ALL the time...BUT- I am becoming , Better, and finding a place of respect, that, { I am finding out , NOW } is what the fuck I was looking for  the whole , darn time!

           AND, it doesn't STOP, at JUST , the job. The parental progress, the REALITY, of two, Young cherubs, whom , I MUST say, copy what I THOUGHT, was just a thing, and , they are FINDING, MUCH, better things , in which to reflect upon. Talk about a re-sounding board!       "DID I SAY THAT?"    YUP, Mom, Ya DID! Incredible!

       I, shall turn 43, on Jan 27th, 1964. Well, in 2007! And, Ya wish to know something? I, have JUST begun to Learn. I, for my Birthday, hope to continue. When my Daddy passed on, on Nov. 20th,2006, I reached out for these , SO CALLED family units, that, he found cool. When I did, I got slapped in the face with a bout of excrushiating disgust!! ONE, man, Phil Gorchoff, was , actually KIND/helpfull. The rest of 'em, can kiss my gludious maximous- - - -JOBIE, FUCH YOU! I found 'em, too many of 'em, to be users, without a caring bone in their makeup! I, SWORE, I'd send her a card with pics. She can gut my drainpipes,I ain't sending her shit! NOW, granted, my Daddy didn't do EVERYTHING, well. BUT- these assholians, used him, as much as he used them! No wonder , I ripped her model photo into three parts.YEARS AGO! I wouldn't allow her to change me Depend!! Perhaps, this isn't Christian of me...but, she ain't no GOD send, either!

             Ya know, I, SOMEWHAT, kinda-sorta, understand, what Marilyn, went through. 'Taint no place in this family, even for members, and I hope, ONE day, they figure it out. They WON'T.THE LORD, blessed me with an attitude.Perhaps, so I wouldn't git sucked in. THE, cool part...is , HE placed a person or two, that were/ARE WAY righteous, and the Gorchoffs can kiss our petubies, we ROCK, and they can continue to try to figure it out. "Blowin' in the Wind."Bob Dylan." Just curious. "How many ears, may one man have, before , he can hear, people cry?" Good Night.

            "There's a lonely man, here in the corner, what he/she wants, I don't know."

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