I have been dealing with life, on lifes' terms , fer a few, and I'm begining to wonder , why?! I don't usually jam to Heavy Metal, but it sounds so familiar to me, these days.I feel like I should be sporting a leather/metallic garnish/body sculpt suit, with claw founded , hip level boots?! Good thing I waxed:). I was awarded some type of apascratice, which pulls the hairs out by their roots, and , the more one uses it, the less they grow??! Life, is a flippin' tripp! So, are the apascratices! Talk about PAIN! The sad thing , about it, is, it reliquishes the destraught, I am experiencing, as I stumble through my own details. I don't mind being honest, but I'm giving Life, THE old college try! I mean, I am going to the matts! Yet, this crap elludes me?! No matter how hard I try, I encounter another 2 by 4, upside me head??! Mind me, I WILL survive! Taint me, whom gives up , without a fight!I'll be dang blasted, if I'll be taken down! I've had it , up to my eye-balls, with these men , whom feel they can poke without recogniscence! YEP!, I allowed myself to be swallowed up by a sheister! Think I'm gonna fall? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
It's growing close to Mothers' Day. Some woman, gave birth to me, somewhere. However, the whench that tried to convince me, I, was hers, I would , UNfortunately, adore to slam! However, it would NOT be Christian of me. SO--------------now I feel, I must send her sumpthin' to ease her ache from reality.Did she EVER send me something, to ease MINE? NOPE! Two wrongs, don't make a right!On my 11th Birthday, as I spent in a Boarding school, was blessed with a card from MARILYN, stating, with a news paper photo, the name cut off-----"Here's your Biological mother, BITCH, Happy Fucking Birthday!" God darn it, I was 11???????!"What THE! And, then she decided to plaster me , for the continuence of my existance, like it was MY fault?! I was told, my Dad dropped me on my head, several times! Pardon me, but it's MY fault I'm a bit OFF centered?Ya wanna know something? Boarding School, was the better years of my life! I didn't have to deal with them!!!!!!!!!! It was up to me, to secure , some sort of idioscincrosies, I pulled out of a NIGHTMARE! No fucking wonder, I slammed the world, as best as Icould! Bad part of it, was I almost destroyed me, as well.How, in Jesus name, did I EVER make it back to the point of actual breathing???????! NOW, I have an assholian husband, whom is waiting in the barracks, 4 ME, to clear all indescretions??!What THE?!-----Have you ANY idea, how much weight I am loosing , from the release of this? I've had this shit , pent up inside of me, for WAY too long! I , was actually , pondering deep depression. I , simply , couldn't shake it. So......last night, before I fell aslepp, I SCREAMED a prayer to Our Lord, PLEASE, give me the energy, to accomplish the tasks , that are undeniably , needed of me. I flippin' did 'em!I can't BE , more proud of me. I'm scared to DEATH, that I won't make my daughters Birthday fandango, what ,all, she wishes it to be. SKREW_--------"IF," I put my heart and soul , into it, she'll NEVER forget! Fuck the plastic! I, too many times, refuse to watch the birdie. WHAT- is REALLY important? Where does it stem from? I'll bet my last dollar, 2 many people, can't even face the question! It's a doozie! Reality, what a concept.