I hope , no one gets TOO, bent outta shape , on this entry. In ALL actuality, I am in a GRAND state of space! BUT- the deevil is a pain in my ass, and he's a liar, 2!
I am TAKING this opportunity, to have a mental / verbal ejaculation. EXCEPT, for the demise of my Fourth Mother, whom is riddled with cancer, and, I was told, this day, that, she is INcoherant,inable to take sustanance, and ETC., there is , REALLY, not a whole lot, that is pressing on me. Still, I'm NOT going to lie 2 U, I am ANGRY, 4, I cannot seem to figure out, WHY, a WONDERFUL woman, has to go through such misery, as well, is her companion, {my second Mother } is suffering through, and, I cannot be there 4 them :(:(
I know of , OTHER entities, whom are SO, ROTTON, and they seem to go about, unscathed?!! THEN, I know of some, whom have MANY blessings, and they claim a Throne on the 'Pity Pot,' and scream , "HELP?" Ya know, I , WAS-, one of the second tribe! For TOO long, I was an insatiable BRAT, whom was CONVINCED, that someone, { perhaps, EVERYone } OWED me something??!!! How silly is THAT?
I've placed myself, my Children, my Friends, my FAMILY, through , one HECK of a grinder! For FRIGGIN' what?
There was a segment of time, where, { and still am, from time 2 time } in the throws of EXHIBITIONISM. It, began, as I , simply wished to STAND OUT, as a REBEL, or a cosmic thumb. I'm NOT sure , what in GODS name, I was searching for. COOL thing, WAS, I couldn't find it! THESE days, I 'spose , I'm getting older. I THOUGHT, I was into , 'simple pleasures,' BUT, I am finding, MANY , MORE joyous finds, being truthfull, reliable, productive,trust-worthy,envoking of happiness and EVERY way I can locate -REASONS to assist!
My DEAR friend, Melissa, invites the Girls and I, 2 her house, somewhat often. Whilst we are THER, I do my best to back her UP. I , have NO prob, participating in the DOING of the dishes. I, take PRIDE, in HELPING, run the vaccuume, folding laundry, whatever I CAN.
You see, I have made a mental awareness, how , SO, many, FORGET- THE circle of LIFE, does NOT begin, NOR END , with moi'! IF, and WHEN, one goes to someone elses Castle, get OFF yer hauches, and SHOW respect and Gratitude! NOW- this is NOT , due to me dish doing. BUT- she has , about as little as I do! YET- { and she is aware of the fact, that my Girls think she's The Bomb. } took the care and love, to bestowe a whole bunch of appreciated stuff on us! THIS, consisted of BODACEOUS 'Wife Beaters,' hair doodles {my Babes have LONG hair } her Child hooked us up, with a cool picture, { which has taken home on Our wall } ETC.!!!!!!!!!! I HAD 2 mention, to her, she need NOT buy us. IT WAS, our DElight, to be able to spend time with them!!!!!!!!! Whether I agree with her decisions, or NOT- I shall STAND aside her, no matter WHAT! { i think i miffed her, with THAT one .}
Ya see, I have COME to a place in my existance, where, I, AM comfortable, with doing / caring about someone, without the need for payment! Ther is a story, someone told me. "A little girl, and her Daddy, were boarding a plane. The boarders, were being held up, horribly, for there was a tiny WOMAN, who was Trying to place her carry-ON, in the compartment above her seat, BUTm was having a raunch time in placing it! The Daddy, whom was behind her, 'SILENTLY,' took the opportunity, to nudge it in { being MUCH taller } for her. As this took place, the line of boarders , sped up, and all were seated. At that point, the Babe, asked her Dad, "Daddy, WHY, did you not tell her , that you helped her, so, that, she could THANK you?" The Father answered, " Honey, THAT, is NOT WHY, we DO things for another!"
During my life, GOOD, and HORRENDOUS- others have HELPED me / US! I, have come to the conclusion, of, JUST HOW GRATEFUL, I AM! Therefore, I have located, the TRIPP, and DELIGHT, I find, whence returning the flavor. I am NOT, looking for a reward!! I get OFF, from , simply easing some tasks, and , from what I am finding, provides MUCH, MORE time, to ENjoy.
There are, ONLY three days left, untill the END of the Camp season! Melissa, is blessing me with the trust and use, of her ?digital Camera;)- I was told, that I am welcome, to attend the last day, and I wish to take pics, of the ENORMOUS flow / memories / moments, of the crash and boom of a wonderous season. Each, and EVERY end of a Camp season, is EMOTIONAL! Now, my Family, being short in financial luxuries, are Blessed with Government Assist, so that my Children, may attend :):):) I, am QUITE humbled, for, I am able to provide , structure, LOVE, programs, ETC., for them to blossom from. NOW- I'm not sure if YOU, have attended Camp , during the Summer, anytime?!! BUT, when I was MUCH, shorter than I am NOW, I DID! It , "IS," a VERY emotional conclusion, for ALL , whom attended. And, since I am a 'Memorie Junkie,' alas, a Photo-Album Addict, I intend to capture as much as I can, so they may share the "Significant Magic," that was construde, during the hours of Summer, that , TOOOOOoooooo many, need spend, engulfed within the BOOB-TUBE, OR- in some projects, with NO focal point.
Their Dad, has an insatiable NEED, to flatten my every attempt, to do ANYthing ,well. I believe, THIS- is his reason, for despising me , SO?!! NOPE- I have no ULTIMATE bank account. Alan, seems to feel, that , due to his continued WORK, in between his sexual bar-room anticts, that, I am a failure. I , as you know from the past chapters, allowed myself to CRUMBLE, a bit , TOO often. 'THIS,' Turned him on , for he had the control and ability , to SQUASH me. In allowing him to do this, I , landed in the County Jail, for 4 months:(. When I returned, I HAD learned a VALUABLE lesson, and picked up the reigns , and trodded FOREWARD! MY Children , are happier, than ever, and WE, ARE making Leaps and Strides Progress, in Nurturing and Honoring our life. Peoples, he's LIVID! The SADDEST part of this, IS, he's C-U-T Them, OUT of his life, UNless, he's on a barstool, and , decides to RAIL THEM, with a bunch of 'Gobble-De-Gook??!!!!!!' While I was 'away,' he passed 'em around , like they were NOTHING, REfused to include their Friends at the house, and, USED Our Church, as a place to stash them, so hecould go to the bar. It was SO, Wonderful, for when I came HOME, and rejoined our Church, our Church Family, welcomed me back , with open hearts and arms, KNOWING, the DIFFERENCE, between us. We , ALL, are Dearly / Deeply entwined, within our Fellowship, and they HELPED me, get US, back on the track, that MEANS something Treasured! THIS- IS, the reason, we ALL, [girls and I } continue to BUILD from within the doors of THE HOUSE, and take what we LEARN, out, amid our lives.
I will BE, Welcomed, to place, Stormie and Gail, { me Mothers } on the prayer chain, that WILL make a Strong Embrace. Mother gail, has a thingy, on her computer, that announces when I make an entry. THIS, brings me solace, for, I can't do AS, MUCH, as I'd like 2, but- they WILL, KNOW , of my HEART-FELT care and loving concern, whilst she observes the continued progress, {LOVE FED } that continues to bloom. For ALL, whom choose to partake in this Trippie Bathroom Reader, PLEASE, Pray for us all, YOU, included ;) AND, Thank You...
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