...it's been a few mins., since I logged on. CHURCH, today, was INcredible! THIS year, has been a doozie!! It appears, I have faced MORE loses, than I bargained 4! YET- I have aquired, MORE collect, than usual!!
I lost my Daddy, his wife, Marilyn, AND, it appears I shall haver to place my CAT, under, for he is begining to show signs of anguish. These days, he lays, has trouble walking, and seems to NEED, 2 be NEAR to a Teddy-Bear, for solace. YEP- I'm NOT, doing ANYthing, UNless I have to, BUT- I shall NOT sit by, and allow him to suffer!
In Church, today...The sermon, was about , when, The 'E," man , and how he "burned OUT!" He stood by Jezebel, and proclaimed all she mandated him 2 do. At the end, he became suicidal. He Ran, beneath the broom trees, and , asked GOD, to release him from LIFE! As he lay down, to die, an Angel came 2 him, twice! The 1st time, Angel asked him to EAT, and drink water! He DID!
As he lay, the Angel, came to him, again. After speaking the same tone and story, The Angel , said , AGAIN... Drink and EAT, for you will need this to sustain you, for your journey! He was obedient.
GOD, then spoke, saying, "WHAT, do you WANT?" TWICE- he responed , with BURN OUT, in tact, "I, have done this, that and the other thing, and, NOW, everyone wishes to kill me!" he lied!!
The 1st time, GOD SAID, " Climb the Mountain, and look me in the face!"
The 2nd time, GOD SAID, go back and REtrace your footsteps!" "THEN, move foreward."
I, WAS, the D-Man! ican'trecallhisname! BUT- i WAS him! I had, what they called, LEGION!! It , was a Legion of demons, and I scared the shit, outta EVERYone! I, then, could NOT, EVEN, phathom, a life , without the Legion of DOOM! Yet, these days, even me Church, is grateful, that I share, with honesty, who I was, and where I am, TODAY?.
My girls and I, are fucking broke, and , now, I / we , face another death??!!! But, we WILL, survive, and gather a strength, that, is, UNable to be corralled in words.
Our Friend, Anna Young, whom I met, in jail, as a Pastor, is at a point in her life of 70 sum years, where she is ridden to NON-mobility.I took her , in prayer, to our Church, today. I didn't get to speak, outloud, but GOD/JESUS/HOLY SPIRIT, Heard me!! It's NOT over, 4 me! I, just began!! Come with me, and walk beside me, and be my friend. I NEED you.