Sunday, July 9, 2006

Dear LORD- the things we learn...

As you have read, the entry afore.....I was a madd cow! How dare I! With the assist of my beloved cousin/Mother, ironed out the truths, that were NEVER shared with me.

     On the topic, of me, getting kicked to the curb....i was SO wrong! My Dad, Charles, on "his," death bed, despite all the rotten stuff this Marilyn woman has dealt him, ....made a deal, with the landlord, whom purchased his house from him, being, that, all things left after death, would be his, so that she could continue to reside there, in the last moments of her life, had a solace to reside!

         YES!- THIS, meant , I shant get anything that was left behind, B-U-T, during her entire, miserable life , of sucking up all materialistic pleasures/items, that she could land her soul empty mitts on, he , finally, put it to good use, and provided her a quiet place to die.

          What a substantial lesson of selflessness, however what she couldn't help to infect, for whatever her aching reasons , were, he turned it around, and "DID WHAT HE HAD TO DO," to cushion her demise , by her own infections!

          You see, you couldn't see/hear, what I did! Now, I know I couldn't , EVEN ,have begun to understand it! As a rebellious , hurt individual, I CLAIMED , as well as believed, I had ultimate knowledge??! FOOL, that I was, I knew NOTHING.For real, fer REAL, I still don't! And, at this point of my realizations, I'm not sure I wish to! However, I chose to quit trying to.

         I put , myself, and TOO many, whom adored me, through pangs of devistation, I couldn't even HOPE, to recoil! For WHAT? I'll tell you WHAT! It provided me, a chance, to hurt , my own ways/reasons, so that I could capture this relevation, and apply it to my senseless existance, and GROW!

          I didn't go to Church, this morning. I was exhausted, from these revelations, and , FOUND GOD, right next to me, in my/HIS house. I took the opportunity, to call Charles, my Dad, and tell him, point blank, "Daddy, I am Honored, to be your daughter!" "I am so proud of you, and , whether you told me shit, straight up, or not, the outcome of the sincere honesty, behind your actions, WERE outstanding!" He taught me, without having to stand up!

          I shared with Gail, "There is MORE promise, to let someone know their praises, rather than their faults, with a sting!" We all have something to say. YET- what are the reasons, for we , actually, know nothing at all-

       Maque' way for the Lemon Parade.       SOMETHING, to ponder....

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