It's just ME!

Please, allow me to schpeal!  From time to time, No matter what I do RIGHT, I , somehow feel I'm going , backwards.

             Ya'll KNOW- I was a definate skrew up, fer a lot of Years! Well, I've NOT become LESS odd! I just do it on PURE air! I , gotta be ME!

         Ryans Mommie, called , 'Children and Youth,' on me! They, are scheduled to Grace our Home, on Monday, between 3:30 and 4ish. THE, kewl THING, "IS," I have NOTHING to hide! I'm 44 years old, raising TWO, Beautiful Children, on me own.  MY BAD- OTHERS H-E-L-P!

                I got a craw in me Head! I, decided , today, to GO to "Burger King," to bless MY Children , with a S-H-A-K-E.  Ryan, works there. WE, conducted , ourselves, as Christian people. He was cordial. AND- I got to speak with those , whom I USED to WORK with. I left there, on SOLID ground, we coincided , Wonderfully.

           Megan, took a Field Trip, TODAY. She and her Classmates, got to go to the Circus! PEOPLES- lemme tell Ya, they Raked in the fun! My Husband, was the ONE, whom laced her with finances, in which to BUY stuff!! He STOOD by HER!  Despite the REALITY, that he is Fading into AIR!:(

           WISH, to KNOW- something?! I, spent MUCH of my latter Years, Castorating my past circumstances.  It has NOTHING to DO with what was! The SHIT,  canNOT excell one.  THE, Only thing it can do, is BURRY the poor slob! I, ALLOWED it to DO, Exactly THAT!

               It's A-L-L, on how you VIEW it! This , 'POOR ME,' CRAP, doesn't mean PLOP! Get over it! I BEG OF YOU! There is SOOOOOOOOOooo MUCH more, that you have to offer!

              When we went to 'Burger King,' for the shakes, RYAN, was working. He, conducted himself, Properly. He , EVEN smiled amd connected with our eyes!!  I, PRAY for him! His UPbringing, was , at the LEAST, ODD! His Mommie is , what she is. VODKA, nibbled up her mind:(. She's , sumwhat sober, at the moment. She eats VICODINE, like it's going outta STYLE??! BUT- 'tis NOT my buisness. I, WISH- I could have a pain reducer ! I , haven't a Dr.! I, can't afford one. MY, body is made of metal, and bone, with a soul, that BEATS like a Purple Rain.

           There ARE days, I canNOT move:(.  THAT- "IS," where JESUS comes in. She attempted to KILL me, AND my Children. WE STAND TALL. Due to my Physical conflict, I CONDUCTED a SOUND , OVERhaul, of Our House, and 'Children and Youth, 'can ONCE AGAIN, S-E-E, that we ARE doing the Best that We CAN!

           Lynda Rivera, requires to look at The WHOLE picture, afore she attempts to USE and ABUSE! Her Son, conducted himself, like a Person. Perhaps, she should , as well??!!!

LIFE, IS a tripp!

At 44 years of age, I am STILL , able to become mezmirised!

            Today, I bought stuff for the house, AND ME!  Yeah- I even got some 'dye' for me roots:) {spining, laughing head!}

              Tha kitties are sound and equipped. There is ENOUGH food/nibbles, untill the stamps arrive:):). AND, my OLDEST Daughter, is , at THIS moment, composing a tale on paper, that, {from what she has shared and written, so far} ROCKS!  They SAY, the accorn, doesn't fall TOO far from the tree?! What a DElight, as I observe her pumpin' it out! She EVEN cut OFF the Television! {my suggestion} However, she did NOT hesitate. She , has JUST brought in the finished persona!  Her name, signed at the bottom, was a Double of the way 'I' would have characterized my letters??!!! This shit is begining to tripp me OUT! I am NOT sure if I am doing Properly, or- if i am cascading her into MY domaine of ''oddness?'' What to do, what to do.

            "I," am a character! Yeah, so friggin' WHAT, that I quit drugs & stuff. I'm STILL M-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm an altercated LUNATIC, with a HUGE Heart and a mind , 'I' canNOT figure out. SOOOOoooo, AM I doing the best for these Girls?!

            In order, to assist another, and to earn $$, I have left MANY people, to , periodically stay at my /OUR House. To be Quite Honest, it was more Head-ache, than neccessary!  The LAST , was a Dude. He was an Exceptionally gifted / Beautiful one , of age 23. 

        If you will REcall, I spent FOUR, agonizing months, in the slammer, meself! THIS- is where I met his mother. Therefore, she called to ask me, whether or not, I could house him for THREE WEEKS?!! He is on House Arrest. Therfore, a box was included, and I, was SUDDENLY, restricted to 14 min. phone calls! IF- I went over, it was Quite noisey , on EACH of the sender/recipients EARS!

         NOW, this young man, has a mind, like a STEELE TRAP! From what I can gather, his B-A-D, was obtaining a stolen Computer from some other person. From what I gathered, he spoke to the Police, and stated it's 'HOTNESS'! They ASKED him to give the name of the seller, and he refused to state!

           IF- anyone, knows THIS game... Ya don't SAY Diddly! Therefore, he was incarcerated. SOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo, I accepted the housing Detail. Whence, he FIRST, Arrived, he was properly elloquent. I jacked him up, when I found , that he located work at , 'Burger King.' {{I used to work THERE}} To be VERY Honest, I am NOT, at ALL, surprised, that he is STILL doing fabulous!

          B-U-T, then came the happenings. TAX returns, came hither. I provided the bills, Bodaceously. I had an Xtra $100. He spoke and said, he had a friend, whom could Shampoo, our rugs, for that cost! I, presented him with the money. FOUR AND A HALF WEEKS, went by, and I sounded my DISpleasure. PLEASE, allow me to have me $$ BACK, and I, shall go to 'Price Chopper,' and Shampoo on me own! "can't do that, Tony has the $$, and I can't locate him!"

            I left it go fer a sec. T-H-E-N- he was rough housing with my Children, and , MEGAN, whom is my MIRACLE Child, gone through "7" brain surgeries, and has a 'SHUNT!' He S-T-E-P-P-E-D on her HEAD, and then sat on her! She , ran SCREAMING, to me, Hysterical, and there were witnesses! He saaaaaaaaaid, he did NOT! BUTT!

           I gave him the chance to,,,NOPE!

   The Crowning , WAS- since I've been doing his laundry/opened my house to him / ASKING HIM, Please, do NOT leave the T.V., o-n ALL night, and NOTHING was digested, upon Easter Sunday , approaching, I chose to END his stay! I called the proper regimines.

The F-U-C-K, if my babes and I , were gonna git stuck with his aarogant ass, all weekend! I, didn't give a poop, whether his arms were bigger than me legs! SOOOOooooo, I called it. NEXT THING- his Mama, calls , SCREAMING this, that and the Other thing at me. I hung up!

              Make a tale , shorter, he came to obtain his property. ALL- was washed and dryed. Nicely placed in CLEAN bags, and placed in the yard. I locked the doors, and went to obtain my Children, from The Y.M.C.A.! After, we arrived home, doors STILL locked, he bangs, and says, "I need to git my BOX!" I allowed him in, and, after he claimed his 'House Arrest Box,' he began to state HORRIBLE statements toward me. "What did you do to your Son?" "The reason you can't git a man or Freinds, is because your fat and Ya have no teeth!" "I'm calling Child Services , because Yer a drunken junkie!!"   FOR THE FIRST TIME-I kept my mouth shut, and Closed the door.

         He has Sensitive skin. Due to THIS- he requires a $14.00 RAZOR, that vibrates, in which to shave with. I , bought him 1! He , required socks, I got some!

            N-O-W, YES, I drink beer at home, periodically. I haven't shot ANYthing into my VEINS, in YEARS!, and if ANYONE, wishes to test me, they shall obtain 'Aquafina!'

            T-E-S-T Me! THINK , I will pay 4 it? N-O-T!   What he and his cockeyed Mom, refuse to UNDERSTAND, is- I have more consequential back up, to my mechanism / LIFE, than they , could EVEN ponder! Dunmore isn't a JOKE! For REAL, fer real, 'I' was the JOKE , to have tried to assist! Because, I am NOT rich, BIG deal.

           The Beautiful Thing IS... WE- Are a Church Family, and , simply  THAT! My Husband, canNOT , even tear me down. THAT, is why he can't stand me:) I used to be a fool Junkie! I, said NO! and I stayed that way. So- Ryan, Lynda, sorry I couldn't help more. PEACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. It's NOT my fault.

It's been a while:(

          Ya miss me? I, missed YOU!  THIS, is the day after, Easter! I have a tale to tell.  Hope you can absorbe it. { Actually, it gives me Goose Flesh.}

         I have a Friend, named, 'Anna Young.' She, once told me a tale, of when she had EVERYTHING, a carton of cigs/food in the fridge/ ETC>! However, her Child, wished for something, than she had homadge to suffice. She looked toward THE LORD, and asked, {why?} HE, responded, ""you have all you NEED, I , shall, Covet you with what ALL you NEED!" She , then, UNDERSTOOD! AND- properly shared the Message, with [me.]

        She didn't HEAR, HIM, then- but she figured it out, a few Years , forward. {{and so do i}}

            Ya wanna know something?!! THIS- is MY truth! I, am as human as any ONE of US! NONE of US- are perfection! We seem to SEARCH, like the Dickens?!! What the pluck ARE we searching for?

             THIS, Easter, my Children and I, nibbled the Blessings UP! I was a goof, fer a sec. I THOUGHT, the 'cookbook,' said our Ham, only required a cook time , of 13-19 mins.! BALDERDASH!   It, { due to Aunt Pats, REAL book}, required to let simmer for 3 1/2 HOURS! THIS- was Fortunate! The 'Taters,' weren't done, YET, sooooooooo, we nibbled Salad/pasta/and FRESH,HOT, Crescent rolls, UNtill the rest of the entourage, Came into play:)-

              The Children, are, -at this time- PLAYING with their Friends, at , The Y.M.C.A.! During our cantor of Easter diggins' , we ALL , forgot, The Y.M.C.A., was to come into play, TODAY! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS,I've NEVER- seen them dress/make Lunches, and Scoot- THAT fast , as I did , Today!!  didn't THINK , they had it in 'em!! I-  -  - was WRONG! JUST, goes to show a person, "where there's a WILL, there's a WAY!" Tripp OUT!

          I have a SOUND, amount of RE-distrubution, to attaine to OUR HOUSE!  I wish to be able to ASK , your forgiveness, that I haven't been, MORE dilligent in my personal studies. I got UP, in me Head, and , forgot , HOW to git OUT!.../.sorry!

                 Point BEING- you have my ULTIMATE PERMISSION, to pray for me/They, ANY time~ I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!  At least, fer Daaaa Moment.

        With A-L-L, DUE, respect, cool if Da POOP comes out , kindly, from me Bathroom Reader!  PEACEEEEEE!...      OH!- P.S., still horney and Dudeless!  TTYL...

                                                          P.S.S. Me friend , accross the Street- she has an OLD Puppster! Her NAME, is 'Sylvia.' we call her "Silly,"! {Yeppers! it's another Easter Blessing!!}  A glass, was broken in Their home. As they cleaned up, NO one, checked 'Sillies ,' FOOD dish!  "Silly," nibbled up a Healthy Shard!  SHE- was , this , to sat The LEAST, aiming for a detrimental demise!~ NO ONE- knew that the shard, landed!!!!!!!!!!   SOooooo, yesterday, was infectuously damned.

                                        Guess WHAT?!  TODAY- "Silvia," passed the shard, and SANG , me love song, as I visited HER! In a couple of days, I SHALL, take , the MAGIC , doggie brush, and fix her up, like NObodies Buisness! She-is The Syl! AND- i AM, Honored to have known HER! AND- thanks BE-to JESUS, she, I CONTINUE, to! Takes a BODACEOUS PUP, in which to nibble a Shard of GLASS, take a day to feel like shit, and come back-SHINING! THIS!!!!!!!!, Should be a resolution to ALL of us!- SHURE- shit gets TOUGH!  However, ALL of us, CAN elevate, to the Promise of continuance! It's, {to me,} kinda- sorta, a LOT, like, "Forrest Gump!" ""Life gives Ya , a box of Chocolates, Ya NEVER KNOW- what Yer gonna GET!""

                  i WAS- a junkie, drug addict! MY, SOULFULL purpous, was , ESPECCIALLY, on Friday Night- 'THIS- is MY time to go to the bar/ ETC.!" I'm STILL , not TOO bad lookin', AND, I have BETTER THINGS, to do with my BODY / TIME! """I""" , have a RIGHT, to orchestrate COOKOUTS! I, have a RIGHT- to git silly with Me Babes! I, have The RIGHT, to acknowledge, that , "Lifes' a tripp!" Best I can tell Ya- 'Git -R-Done!' ""Larry The Cable Guy.""

            At the moment, I am on the PHONE, with me Neighbor, JEN! It, would appear, that I, AM, invited, to JOIN, Jen and SOUND , Musical Cherubs, that WILL be performing , at a SOUND , neighborhood PUB- and "I," have BEEN invited:)-!  I, INTEND, to CONDUCT, myself, in the Joyous, and Proper composieure, as i AM, built to DO! THIS- is NOT a Joke! Allow me to ask a question! WOULD you , permitt , yourself, to build a Masterpiece, only to find , YOUR MASTERPICE would fail?!? I, HAVE done WELL- at my betterment. THIS, will allow me to GO- and , attaine my ACHE, to REvisit to my younger Escapades:)- For , ONE evening, I SHALL be worthy of 'Kicking up Me heals!'

           I, SHALL conduct myself, in a reputable manor! W-H-Y,,,?, BECAUSE , I AM , Wortrh it!

               TTYL... PEACE Be Untoo....  I'm sik and plucking tired, to HAVE to Hear, anothers repreave. I, am NOT stupid! I have a pulse, and I have a HEART, that beats WILD, as a Fearies Wings in Flight!

DEAR GOD, help...

  LORD, I've missed this!

            SO, many things have been going on, these days. I, have grown stronger, less fearfilled, YET- I'm an idiot! SO, many things are going in a fortitude way, but, it's like I take a few steps , forward, and jack meself "7" backwards?!!

                ALLOW ME TO TRAVEL BACKWARDS,  fer a sec.

               YESTERDAY- was me Birthday. I revelled into the 44th Year of my existance. Within my ENTIRE existance, I would, without a doubt, get monstrously  obliterated! Yesterday- I didn't! I 'spose there's a first for everything. I cooked, enjoyed, Basked in the LOVE of my Children. We nibbled, WELL, and awoke , WITHOUT, a headache!!!!!!!!!!!

      There is a NEW addition, to our family. There is a young man, whom is residing with us, named 'Ryan,' He was placed in jail, for being HONEST!

THINK , I'm kidding, THINK again. He was the recipiant of a stollen computer. 'In Realising THIS, he called the police, provided the machiene, BUT-  -  - was jailed for ONE month, since he, { appreciating his life } would NOT disclose the NAME of the seller!!!!!!!!!!!

            Community, he's 23! I, am 44. He doesn't smoke/drink/do drugs/ AND- he adores OUR LORD! Community, he's friggin' GORGEOUS! The young Man has a mind like a Steele TRAP! S-H-O-O-T me, I'm infatuated! He loves aminals and he is SOOOOOOoooooo Proper , with My Children!      I've been PRAYING, 4 a sound companion!!  He, even cooks/cleans! He is RESOUND in his appearance, and conducts himself, at his BEST. [I'M IN NIRVANA]...............  He holds down "2" jobs, and NEVER, seems to lose focus!

           The man, offers me $$, so as to NOT use Us, and , it breaks me heart to accept it.

             Yesterday, 'The Upper Room,' commended me for assisting my fellow man. As GOD as my witness, 'tis The Only thing/REASON, I'm doing this. I've BEEN where he is, and it SUCKS! His Momma, can't even assist! She, is on, what is called the S.C.R.A.M. bracelette! ""THIS,"" is a device, that will take readings, in order to detect ANY, kind of alcohol!!!!!!  Therefore- since I'm living a purer fashion of lifestyle, NOTHING is strapped to me leg!   I can dance with the BEST of Us. I, HAD one, but I graduated. {THANK GOD }  I'm so fucked up.LOL-

                    I, WISH I could ask your direction, as to my hormonal whimsie!

 

                Let us revert to another topic. THE GIRLS! Report cards came out. I, had , removed them from The Y.M.C.A., after School program. I had notices, sent home, saying they were FALLING , Rapidly! SOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo, I slashed The "Y', and began HANDS ON attention. Their Grades came UP, a bit, and , due to the reign of marilyn, I was NOT going to JAMM crap down their throats~! A-L-L, require to BREATHE'! sumtimes:)-

           SO!- they will remain at School, and be Tutored, 2 days, and then , I shall pick 'em up from the "Y," '3' days a week. PERSONALLY, for ME, if Ya try to jamm sumpthin' down my throat, I'll YAK, right in your face! HOWEVER, if ya just kick me in the ass, periodically, I'm WAY, more receptive??!!!   MAIN point, IS- NO one said I was norml, STILL- I , A-M trying! I , Continue to pray , that my Children, ARE, in SOME profound way, enriched! Darn it, I'm just a Carly! Shit does NOT begin, NOR end with me! There has GOT to be a superior plan! To be Honest with Ya- I'm an INTENSE , whack job.KOOL part, IS- I'm gentle, and I don't hurt peoples, anylonger. As a matter of fact, i am capeable to instill Growth, these days.      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

           PLEASE, forgive my hormonal IMbalance. I continue to have a PULSE. I, ACHE for a Sound , strength orientated soul to cuddle! I, Shall behead my thoughts, of the young man, whom resides with me! HE deserves a righteous opportunty, to SPREAD HIS WINGS, and F-L-Y!  He's Tubular, from his Heart!

              " HE , leadeth me beside still, waters. In ALL my issues, I, MUST acknowledge HIM, and HE will guide my path," Peace be Unto...

YOU, tell me...

Did you know, I have a bleeding heart?!! WELL- I do. I work so DARN Hard, at being a Proper Christian. Yet- I loose my flippin' mind, periodically?! This , 'New Years,' I krept into it, with profound Joy, and Optimism. I've STILL got a bunch of it, B-U-T, my frustrations keep messin' with me!

          I have canned the Y.M.C.A., for the Girls, for I felt their Schoolastic abilities were being threatened. We, STILL, belong, and can visit, when err we wish, BUT- "The Latch Key," thingy, will be put on hold fer a while. Those Grades, MUST come up! Bottom Line!!!!!!  Even Megoras' penmanship, is improving, since I have made the stand , I have.

         Wish to KNOW what KILLS ME? The ploppin' MATH, escapes me profusely, and I doubt myself, for taking the road I have chosen. I, didn't STOP, There! I have placed them into 'Tutoring,' at School, after classes are done. Yo!- they squank with MATH, well.  { i just took a DEEP breathe.}

           perhaps, SOMEONE, could rejuvinate me, since , I am finding myself, Inadequate. ALL, 'round us, have more $$ than 'Trump?!!' Precious People, we have so , VERY much, BUT- our clothes are of , { I can sew that } and , "Oxy Clean," can make SUCH, the difference.

         With your permission, I wish to say, "A few, told me, " DO NOT have Children, UNless Ya got a cash flow, like none-other!" I, THOUGHT, boink you! It ALL , comes from the Heart and Soul! Peoples, I am finding, this , 'perhaps,' may NOT be conclusive??!!!!!!!!  Awe, I'm a Goof-Ball! YES- it DOES! It comes from down, DEEP inside!  PARDON, if I offend! However, 'who the fuck cares, IF, yer clothes, are NOT , 'Armani?!!'  It's WHO'S inside, that MAKES, The REAL difference! Still, I ALLOW it to cash in on me Heart, from time to time. Please, HEAR me, when I share, that my Babies are NOT dressed as paupers! We, simply, don't share the UNneed of stitches or patches?!! Big, Ploopin' DEAL! Dey's Warm, CUTE and colourefully precise! Their nails are done Nicely, their HAIR, is Quite performed, and ETC.!     Personally, however, "Judge NOT, lest thou be Judged," I've seen some in our JUDGED SLOT! Pardon, but a few, on the down scale, altered from ours!

         Granted, and Thankfully, some of the Parents, are delighted, to allow THEIR Children, to spend the weekend with us! Their Children are LOVED, FED -nicely, and pampered, best we have. BOTH, Child and Parental Units, are Pleased:)-

                     Megora, is now , in a class, which will Teach her, 'Sign Language!' She ellected this, so that she could express LOVE to those, whom cannot HEAR. THIS- leads me to share with you, an instance, which happened, when we went to the Site, where our Family is lain to rest, TWO blocks, from our residence. On, 'Memorial day, last year, we took 'Chopped Chicken Livers, and Matzoh, and sped to our Family plots. We took, a 'Walkman, and placed on the station, "Classical Musik." Papa, 'Charles Philip Gerchov,' adores it! We dined and spent time with ALL of our passed Family, AND, their neighbors.NOW- in THAT segment of the Cemetary, it is Proper, that one places a stone, upon the top of the Head Stone, to show that the Person was visited. As we departed, { and- I was UNaware my Children, had collected,Several stones } there were a few, whom had NONE, atop of theirs. Megan, asked, "WHY, Mommie, do thet NOT have stones?" I, responded, that, "Perhaps, they passed LONG ago, and Their Families , aren't near enough to leave one."              Upon our departure, she AND Ashley, emptied their collection, upon those , without. I, LISTENED, as they stated, ' I know you don't KNOW me, BUT- you are NOT forgotten. Rest In Peace.'

            Had THAT...had ANYthing to do with the clothes?!! I, think NOT!

                  I have NO boyfriend. I, have NOT the love of the husband I cannot afford to divorce. I, am so lonely. BUT- I have the Lord Jesus, I have Friends, and I have Gail! I BEG yur forgiveness, at times, I simply wish I had a SOUND  BODY to hold me back. I'd snuggle the daylights, outta some ONE! BUT- I would be more delighted, in which to C-A-R-E for the person, in the Coolest ways. These ways , would be , Spiritual, emotional,edible {food wise.} I ASK you. PLEASE send me your prayers of comfort. I have ALL I Really need. Forgive me . for being selfish. I just MISS, being hugged. Ya know, I used to take PRIDE, in being a Wonder Woman type. It's gittin' OLD!

          I can only hope, ALL of you, have one , whom to give you a REQUIRED Hug...

          Yesterday, I scooped up some delectable nibbles. They shall be able to sustain us for , at LEAST , three weeks:)- THESE nibbles, are NOT junkfood! I, am capeable , of orchestrateing some delectable meals, for TWO of The Coolest , shorter peoples, I know.

          Speaking of Peoples- I, am working , on crochetting a VEST, for my son, whom my addiction , caused me to paralize. I, WAS- gonna do a sweater, BUT- his Linda told me he OVERheats, Easily. SOooooo, I, X-Nayed the sleeves. I, canNOT wait, untill I can bestowe it to him. I made it , a bit larger, so as it will FIT- for quite some time. THIS way, he can touch the stitches, and K-N-O-W, I stitched it from my heart! MUCH alike, the Prayer shawls, I bestowed for my Church Family Members. They didn't take $$...They TOOK L-O-V-E!           It is NOT, what I do! It , 'IS,' why/how and HOW, I DO it! Same, as WHY, I am orchestrating me BOOK! I, wish NOT, to direct, Nor Preach! Simply , to share some tid-bits, that aide moi'! "SHARING IS CARING."

 

           PLEASE, do NOT give up. NOTHING, Good, comes Easy! Most of the time, I BEG to differ??!!! Thanks BE- I spank meself. and move, FORWARD...

Pardon, I've been a bit Dormant...

          It's been a while! I, DO, apologise!!!!!!!!  Due to the Holidays, Etc., I had to shut sumpthin' down. SO- I took a break on Da BOOK.

       SOOOOoooo, Very MUCH, has transpired. AND- I'm Thrilled to be able to share it with you.

        The Holidays, were astounding! THEY, were NOT filled with $$, gifts, and what not. It was filled with , sensations of GIVING, from what we could MAKE, ETC.! F-u-n part, WAS, the gifts we bestowed, were accepted with HEARTfelt smiles and Love! "Boscoves," couldn't hold a candle to US!

         I , MUST say, the gifts, didn't , only stem from Christmas. They began LONG afore. YEAH!- we are poor folk. However, we have been presenting our LIVES, as Gifts!! We are conducting ourselves, in a manner , that is OUTSTRETCHES ourselves, in ALL we attempt. There were times, when we were needed as a Friend. There were times, when we were NEEDED as Christians. There were times, when, we , SIMPLY, were humain and Helpful, without asking, nor wishing for ANYthing in return! For me...'tis THE ONLY way, manner or fashion, that one designates a show of help/ concern/ favor!!

           We belong to a Church, where we FINALLY, belong. It IS teaching us, MANY aspects, of living a BETTER life. This is NOT a Church that stuffs stuff down our throats! As a matter of fact, 'I' am actually, attending Bible Classes, and am listened to, when I wish to share, { wierd as it may be } THEY wish to listen?!! As I am told, things I convey, {in my weird way} are understood, and taken to heart??!!!! 

         For Christmas, since we are slim on finances, I MADE prayer shawls, for the Friends we have made. GOD, and Shewwie Davidge, have allowed me to become, quite the crochetter. SO- I orchestrated shawles , for many of the 'Family'members.  I, also, put into realm, my ability to create cards, written from my heart, in my artistic penmanship.

       Miss Regina, {a devout Catholic,} responded to the card I orchestrated for her, with her gift, WITH TEARS IN HER EYES-  that, my card was written in, such depth, and sincere elloquence, she could scarcely endure?!!!!!  I, was FLOORED! For, I was , always, under the impression, she thought I was a dweeb?!  Personally, I find her a mentor. She stands for such , resound strength, and control. me- , well, I am a strung out Hippie Freak. There, {to what I could SEE }be,  no POSSIBLE way, we could connect. FACT of the matter, 'IS,' she Related to me, in ways, that are UNexplainable. However, THEY are REAL. I, had FINALLY , begun to graduate, to an actual PERSON, instead of a useless REBEL. The LORD, has guided me, {and I LISTENED,} in order to punctuate me, into a Family, that appreciated my colourefullness. As WELL, as, I was permitted, to apply those coloures, withOUT , having to be brass!

         TOO MANY , of my years, 'I'd wished, I had NEVER been born , at ALL!' Today, I am realising, that 'HE,' had a divine PLAN, I, couldn't have fathomed in my wildest dreams.

         PLEASE, do NOT confuse what I am revealing. I have MUCH, MORE to LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!  However, today, I have EARNED sight of the FACT, that I can actually understand that! Beside the FACT, that there IS hope for me, YET! Allow me to be MORE precise.

               Tomorrow, { since we are recipients of "Section 8," a housing blessing, will be inspected , so as we are permitted to continue , Because of this Program! The state of Penna., provides some, from a program, where, The State helps pay, 45 %, of simple peoples' RENT.

       My YOUNGEST Daughter, reminded me of IT, lest , three hours ago!! An inspection, demands UTmost attention! Therefore, the THREE of us, locked HOOK, LINE amd SINKER, into preparing the Castle, into TIP-TOP shape!!!!!!!!  it's quite COOL, cuz, we love Da Castle to begin with. SO- it wasn't TOTALLY , mind boggling, in which to prepare. WE, Adore our setting!

         I, MUST, become Painfully HONEST! As, in, the latter part of my book...I revealed, that , I-WAS an imbosilic drug/alcohol TWERP!!  N-O-T, Today!!               Please, do NOT git it twisted...DUE TO my idiotic escapades, I AM, feeling the repricussions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YEP, broken back/metal leg /spazmodic brain!!!!  However, I am ABLE to use my HEART/mind and SOUL, in fashions, I NEVER accomodated! I, am a SINGLE Mommie, whom has MORE ZEST, than I could have immagined. YEAH- I'm a bit odd! Saints Be Praised, I, FOUND- I have a heart, which BEATS, as Fierce as a Faeries Wings!!!!!!!!! {In Flight!}     There IS a profound REALITY! TOO, many, Search for someone ELSE, to adore THEM??! 'Bottom Line- 'IS," why must it come from ,  someone ELSE?? '               I, am FINDING, that Da BEST, comes FROM- LOVING, and appreciating, ones OWN self! 'Taint no fart gonna be ABLE, to disagree!!!!!!  Carly is FINDING, it canNOT be duplicated, NOR, shortchanged, if 'IT,' comes from within!

          Yeah- a WHOLE, lot of PENT UP emotion! It's been a WHILE. Please, Pardon me.

             MAY, I request a Flavor? Send us your PRAYERS, for tommorows shake down?!:)- TYVM...

THE, Most Impressive Dream, I EVER had!

It's 4:00 A.M., and I have spramg from my bed to write all this down, afore I forget it!

 

        The Dream, began, as I sit accross from John and Jens' garage, and, I noticed the once , full garage, equipped with 'Anglia,' and ' Harley,' was empty! As the dream progressed, I witnessed many, new people, begining to place musical instruments of an array, where the mobiles used to reside!

         SHOCKED, I patiently awaited Johns' return from work, as he does every day.  As he pulled up and backed in to his still his spot, backwards, I RAN to him, questioning , 'WHY' was this taking place!!

       His response, was, "Carly, the time has come, where ALL man kind , MUST move ahead and lives were about to change for the better!"  "PLEASE- explain yourself, more clearly!" I urged. SO- he did.

      "The time has come, for man and woman, to join, together, for the GOOD and SURVIVAL of eachother!" "We are coming, together, in Harmony, and we are begining , HERE!" "BUT- John, where am I to go???" I pressed heavily. "Where will the Girls and I go, if you are to flatten, EVERYTHING, and branch out into a community of Love, Peace and Harmony?"  Fear NOT, Carly, you're a GOOD girl / person, you may join us! Besides, you LOVE music:)." "You'll fit in , fine, with our new found community!"

          Aghast, I took the time to gather myself and the Girls, and chose to take part in this Beutiful transition . "B-U-T, I don't know too much about building a structure , from the ground , UP?!!" I exclaimed. "EVERYONE, has their own, special traits, and others will be Happy to show you, many things and ways, for you to offer your best accompaniments:)"                     AND THEN IT BEGAN!

                I was allowed to begin, participating, in THE, Most awesome tearing down, and ressurecting, I have EVER seen , nor heard of!!

                We began, in gutting all the sides, {NOT FRAMES } of the buldings , INCLUDIND the floors, right down to the dirt! It appeared, we would focus , on John' garage, and , quick as a wink, new walls were errected, and a New floor, was provided with blankets, cement and wood. The Band, began to raise their instraments, and moved to belt out some righteous tunes, which , only seemed to provide COOL motivation, to the soon drawing, New occupants of this community. Women, Children, men and boys, { most, with jeans, flannels and thermal tops, and Leather, [black.] brought and began their specific tallents, and put them to GOOD use!

        Mostly, 'twas the WOMEN, whom orchestrated the electrical wireing. They used some of THE, Most exotic tooles, I've ever imagined! 'I,' was begining to help lay the floors of our New reservation, that, for some, Nifty way, shifted from the rural area of Dunmore, to- deep in the woods.

       During my work , it seemed, my workboots, with thinning souls and NO shoelaces, became separated, and I was with ONE shoe on, and ONE shoe OFF??!!!  Fortunately, I located ONE of my Baby Blue ones, WITH laces, and replaced it , on my sore, freezing foot...only to 'GIT BACK TO WORK!'

        I began to tire from my incessive floor laying, and began talking with the woman, whom was doing the intricate , Electrical wireing. She began to show me, how it was done.She didn't get short, or testy with me, NAY- JUST the opposite! This dark haired woman with a thermal , long sleeved shirt, was gentle in her directions! She , then, suggested that I go for a strolle, around, and observe more ways to learn and SEE what can happen, when we all pull together for the good!      ...AND, so I did. The farther around I trot, the more widened my heart and eyes , became!  I witnessed , the partions of areas, connecting us ALL, in a home-like setting, SHARING the halls, NOW- lined with solid, wooden archs, and walls, that were intrically designed in decorative carvings and details! THIS, 'I noted,' was done by a man named, 'Carl,' whom OWNS 'Weggies Bar,' up the St. on Drinker?!! Carl is a decent Dude, whom provides some Tasty Eats, as well as a kind establishment , complete with a JukeBox, filled with bodaceous tunage, and a Great, Sturdy pool table / Dart Machiene ! { I do NOT frequent the place, ONLY once in a Blue Moon ;)}  ! 

         As I wandered , further, I found that , at THE very back of our community, we were, SUMHOW, attached to the Mall!           T-H-I-S, I gathered , was our LAST link to society, { for provitions sake, of course } . Later, I found, we were tapping into their Electrical forces. LMAO, LOL!     

electric

 HEY, we HAD to plug in the instruments, SUMWHERE! Not to leave out the essentials.

            My escapade of learning, was done, and I decided to git back to the community / My Children, B-U-T, Not untill I stopped to grab , the Wooden Bunk Beds, for Ashley and Megan! I felt, they wiuld go wonderfully, with the WOODEN halls of pure progress, and, THEY were NOT sleeping in MY bed, for they KICK like mules in their sleep:)-  The beds, when I returned to place my addition to the project, where errected, and the matresses , were ALL made from 'Tempurpedic Foam!'  They were constructed, SO soundly, NOT a squeek could be heard, whence anyone got in. The floors I lain, were stained and shelacked, such a beautiful vision, {Especially, that I knew I HAD helped:):)!!} ALL, was nearing finale', and ALL were tired and proud. As Carl, prepared the Meal, the Band, began a profound set of phenominal music, as we ALL, lined the amphatheatre seats, in which to drink in the sound of our efforts and progress!Ashley and Megan, were thrilled that i had obtained their beds, and all that was left, was for them to fight over whom got the top and bottom! LOL...  STRANGE THING, though...'twas "John," whom , at the close of the day, was the one I lay next to, for a long evenings sleep???!!!!!!!! His Harley, was parked at the end of the bed. GO FIGURE!      I think I shall open to 'JOHN,' in The BIBLE, today, and listen to what I require to hear. GOD, HAD to have his hand in THIS Dream! Peace Be Unto...