Life is a TRIPP...

Where to begin, escapes me!  SOOOOoooooo, I'll simply begin.

     ""Here Comes your nineteenth,nervous Breakdown."" I've known this Dude, for , quite some time. His name is , 'Bob.'  He'sa VERY , gentle man, and his bank account is even MORE gentle. LOL- Yet, he is a hard woerker, and a NON violent soul, whom whould give ya the shirt from his back, if ya needed!

          I've been introduced too his Mom and Dad, ''family,'''as well. They seem to find me, {O.K.}.

         Last Sunday, the Girls and I, invited him to Church, with us. He, accepted, whilst , ALMOST breaking out in a rash of nerves??!!!   None the less, he WENT!  He was welcomed like he was a saint, and he , actually dug it!!

           He, even HEARD a soulfelt message, he secludedly required to HEAR! He wishes to be INCLUDED , this coming Sunday??!!!

           His parents, are quite taken by the Girls and myself, as well.

        HERE- I-S, the wrench! I find him, delightful. HowEVER- I am STILL married.  And , at this point in my life, I can't , EVEN ponder a sexual partnership! At 44 yrs. old, I'm not even frisky, these days. I feel like I am slighting him, even tho he is NOT pressing for it??!!! What the plop is wrong with me??

            It, MAY BE, that , I have contracted High Blood Preassure,ovarian cancer and an Anurism in me brain??!!!

         Thank you. I , simply HAD to git this OUT. I, shall continue to orchestrate the facts, more prominently. at a later date. At this time, I'm exhausted. Peace...

I , THOUGHT, I was gonna die!

  Don't know, exactly, where to begin??!!!  The last 9 days, I contracted head-Aches, like I've NEVER , encountered , afore!

           My Friend, suggested, I have me blood pressure taken. {so i did}. 175/118!!!!!!!!  Holy Hobinieros. I sound like my Daddy. I, was , also, given a mind scan! Looks like, I , also, have anurisms?!! Must be all them damn drugs, I ingested. For MOST of my , existance, I figured, I was INdestructable. Silly me...

            Funny part of it, IS- for the FIRST TIME, in my life, I have EVERYTHING to LIVE 4!! I 'spose , 'Mother Nature,' has a Dandy sense of humor.

           WHY, am I sharing this, with you? BECAUSE- I'm hoping, before you get all , caught up in stupdity, Ya GOTSTA realise, N-O-N-E of us, REALLY know the cool stuff, that awaits us, in our futures! Yeah, SURE- there seems like , Ya'll have NOTHING to LIVE for, as ya grow UP??!!!  PLEASE, don't git fooled! NONE OF US, are aware of the nifty stuff, that lies, ahead!

           P-E-A-C-E...

It's , just me...

          There came, a time in my existance, where I was SnowBalled, with these observations, that threw me 4 a LOOP!  It's 4:50 A.M., and , since I chose to go to bed, Early, Mind kicked into OVER Drive, and I ,R-A-N, to me pooter!  Pardon. I detest IRAN!! Let's Git-R-Done , THIS way. I, LEPT, to me computer.

                 For REAL, fer real, I SHOULD be SOUND, asleep! But...

          IF- ANYone thinks , for a moment, that, there isn't a GOD/JESUS/HOLY SPIRIT- Yer foolish! There have NEVER { that's pig wash } been MORE, Sound P-R-O-O-F, that JESUS exists! Steming back to me begining pages , I'm STILL kickin'! I, SHOULD have been Squashed, LONG , ago.

            Due, To, the internet, {{ which, at ONE point, I threw daggers at}} , I have made Friends, that ARE, substantial, and LIFE giving. 'THEY,'- wouldn't KNOW me, IF we fell over one another! STILL- this CRAZY communicative device, has, Actually, placed me in the Graces, of perhaps, 11 People. For , some STRANGE reason, I enhance their inner Qualities, as well.

            Isn't it ODD, that one has better ability, to address, topics, 'WHEN' one does NOT need do it ;"Face 2 face??!!!" 'GO' figure??!!!

                        REPORT CARDS- arrived. PLOP OFF- Yeah, I just realized, I had logged THIS, afore. me Babes, pulled 'em UP<3{that is a throbbing heart ,<3}

            I, NEED to say, something. In the days I did the drug thingy, 'Twas ONLY- by , "JESUS " Grace, i was allowed to keep them as me Daughters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THESE days, I am STILL, Searching for , substantial REASON. For, TODAY- it's frequenting, on UTTER amasement, as HOW' I continue togo forward??!!!

                 

              Yesterday, I tended to the front of 'OUR HOUSE!' Me back , was in, EXCRUSHIATING pain! STILL , I kempt UP, and "Got-R-Done!"      I , AM- feeling the pangs!

         Please- - I /We, reside, in a Rural area, where-EVERYONE has 'OODLES,' of $$ ! I, have observed, that MOST, write a check/card, "Personally, I do me OWN,"in which to have their yards, prepared, for The Spring, that wishes to Actualy ARRIVE.   YET- with VERY , little $$, but a Heart that BEATS, like a Faeries wings in Flight, I , Also, have noticed, 1 OR 2 , become jealous of me progress??!!! "WHAT, a tripp"

                    IF, I M-A-Y, it's QUITE absurb, BUT, I, C-H-O-O-S-E, to speak with GOD! Funky, THO... The MOST, comfortable Place , in which to do SO, 4 me, seems to be in the Bathroom! Please , allow me to explain. During me drug years:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(, THAT- is where I should have deceased!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i SHOT more STUPID STUFF, in the throws of the bathroom! When I say 'shot,' I , mean, into me veins! 'From little -Ville, I detested to HAVE to get a needle??! To be Honest with Ya- the way i looked at life, had NOTHING to do with JESUS!

              As well as you, IF, it weren't for JESUS, whom put up with a LOT , I'd have 'NO," redemption! Fucking, TELL ME, Ya'll never frigged UP, 'ROYALY??!!!' THIS MAN, was RAILED!

      There was this sermon, in Our Church, where , we were given, the nails, ETC.- so that we may SERIOUSLY , contemplate, what JESUS, gave for us! "When they asked me to place the 'STAKE,' ...I 'WEPT,' and reclaimed my seat , in the pews. FINALLY, Realising, how much of a bonehead, i AM!

             I, am Blessed with, a Super-Natural provsion, I {AM} aware of the ability to F-E-E-L, S-E-E, things, that TOO many , forget to ENvision. THE, first time, I was Shown this Grace, was-when I was home from a 'Boarding School,' I was panned off to. {PLEASE- don't get me wrong } I stepped into a World, I had NO, Idea, existed. However, since they mailed me, I chose to LEARN, how to smoke??!!!  YET- as I returned HOME, for a spell, I desired a cigarrette.  SOOOOOoooo, I decided to light up, in me Closet. 'A' Resound FEELING, came upon me, {PUT IT OUT}, still, I cast the FEELING??!!! 

               SILLY ME!

I, was BUSTED!

                  Marilyn, smoked, from the time she became conscience, 'till she couldn't hold her eyes, OPEN! WISH to Know something? For '2' L-O-N-G, I attempted to KILL her! I, could NOT stand her. HOWEVER, due to her passing, from Cancer,,I find myself, REALISING, that the Woman , was in GREAT, Mental pangs!

        'IF,' I was Charles Gerchov, and I cast my gaze, { and she said 'YES.'} I'd have been "DIE HARD," in adoring her, as well! OH- by the way, "Charles Philip Gerchov, " IS, my Daddy! He has passed ON. BUT- I am , and ALWAYS WILL BE, his little Girl.

              Marilyn- we were TOTALY , opposite.

   I, believe, I have conveyed, ENOUGH, at this time!

                  Each, and EVERY day, MORE is UNfolded toward us! It's ALL, on how one LOOKS at it!